Here's a picture of my twin brothers. Derrick and Desmond. Derrick (the younger one) is on the left, and Desmond is on the right. They are male versions of me, so you can only imagine how crazy things can get when we're all together!

9:13am
So I weighed in this AM at 253.8 lbs, bringing the total to 42.2 lbs since I started September 19. That's a lot of weight! I am kind of excited that it has slowed to about 2 lbs a week, as it feels healthier. I was kind of sad last night though because I washed my new size 19 jeans finally b/c I was scared they'd shrink, and sure enough, they shrank. I can still wear them, but they are hard to pull up. Stupid low rise. The Biggest Loser was really good last night. I was going back and forth between being motivated and being discouraged. First I was like, "if they can do it, I can do it" but THEN I was like "There's no way in hell I could do all that", but then I was on CK and I read Chris's blog about self-esteem and comparing ourselves to other people (thanks Chris! ), and I realized that my journey isn't going to be like theirs. I can't compare myself to them in terms of body type and losing weight. So, I am still encouraged to keep on truckin! I think I am going to reach my goal of 250 at New Years, which would be awesome. I can't wait to see my mom tomorrow. I've lost 9 lbs since she last saw me, so hopefully she'll be able to see the difference still. I'm not as stressed about eating when I get to VA or Cleveland, I think as long as I just make one good decision at a time it will all add up.

Oh, and I just want to add that - although I've been tempted several times by the cookie/cake/pie/cheesecake monster at work during the holidays, I haven't given in ONCE! Ok, I did twice. BUT! The first time I checked the nutrition facts FIRST, and once I saw that only one cookie had 40 cals (Danish Butter cookies in a tin w/that fabulous sugar on top), I had to do it. Then, well, I already told you about the office potluck. But I only had 1 1/2 cookies (it equaled one cookie - in my mind) and wiped the frosting off the first. This morning, there are those M&M cookies (mouth full of JOY) but I just casually walked by, like it was someone who I didn't like (but secretly have a huge crush on). Saying "No Thanks" is a new trend for me! I love it! Ok, for some weird reason they actually are giving me work to do. I don't like it. Work is NOT the place for work! Until the next time I get so bored that I feel the need to blog...

1:21pm
So my brother really irritates the crap outta me. So the other day, he texts me for like the 6th time in a week and a half like, "are you going to give me some money?" This all stems from back in March, I had to get my car fixed but didn't have the money so he charged it to his credit card. Well, I paid it all back to him but he is charging me interest (yea, some family huh?!) Anywho, so he doesn't have any money (I guess) and he asked me for money. I texted him back like, "dude, oh my god, I'm going to give you money" because I was sick of him asking, but I was also being lightweight light-hearted! He's going to text me back and be like "its your fault im in this position, you shouldnt give me any attitude, blah blah blah". Mind you, he and I are both going to VA but the only time he asks me for money is when he needs to buy something frivalous. So THEN, today he texts me like, when do you work at Aldo again? I told him tonight. He's gonna be like, "well, i'll come pick you up tomorrow, so we can go to Aldo. I want to get Carrie (my gf) a purse and I want a watch". Wait a minute?! Didn't you just cry "broke" a couple of days ago?! I just can't stand how he acts like he's so much better than me and why he thinks he can treat me like crap. I try to be a good big sister to him, but he thinks he's my father and it really annoys me. My other brother, he and I get along great. I just hate how he treats me. It's so aggravating. He always looks at me with these eyes of disdain and it gets old always feeling like I have to live up to some "expectation" so he can be OK with me. I'm over the days of trying to please everybody else and it just really annoys me that he's such an a$$. Whatever. I'm so over him.