So, I am probably having one of the worst days I've had in a long time. So, my ex and I (not the one I've been talking about, the most recent one) had been flirting and just kind of having a good time being "friends". We live together at school and still do a lot of things together (I let ex drive my car to work, is on my cell phone bill, whatever). Well, before I left for VA, ex was like "oh, this girl im talking to said something about coming to visit, but i'm not sure if she'll come". I'm just kinda like whatever. So once i get to VA, ex is all of a sudden like "She's going to come to visit". [Why couldn't you just come flat out and say she's probably going to come instead of well maybe but i doubt it?!] So whatever. While I was in VA, I was asking lots of questions until EX decides to say its "none of my business" [really, arent you driving MY car?! it IS my business]. So whatever, then after she leaves, ex says "well, she & i talked & decided we wouldnt purse anything, so theres nothing going on with us". [Whew, I'm kinda relieved]. But then yesterday, ex texts me and is like "we need to talk about me & girl" and I'm like, OK, what is it? [I was expecting to hear that maybe they kissed or had sex]. Ex says, "Me and girl have decided that we are going to 'try this out'". [WTF does try this out mean?!?!?] So I'm like, so you guys are together now? Ex is like yea. THEN I said,so did you guys have s*x? Ex proceeds to say, why does it matter? i'm not answering [ which = yes] So I am furious because this whole time - while we're not together - we've just been kind of keeping our options open and (i thought) just being open with each other about our relationship and any in the future. Then, ex has been like "ya know, i cant see myself being in a relationship for a while" ["a while" = 4 months, apparently]. So then I'm furious, crying for days and I'm like, how could you be so dishonest and sneaky?! WHAT IS EX'S RESPONSE?! "Well, you've been talking to other people this whole time too. What did you expect me to just sit around and wait for you to make up your mind?" Now mind you I did talk to people online, but all I did was talk. I never talked to them on the phone, I never had them come visit me from Michigan (where ex's new gf lives), none of that. But somehow, because I "talked" to people, that is perfect justification. I've been crying for the past 48 hours because I just feel uber-betrayed and disrespected by someone who supposedly "cares" for me. I'm seriously heartbroken. I'm trying to tell myself that this is good (which I'm sure it is) but in the meantime, the pain I am feeling is overwhelming. I have sacrificed and invested SO much into our relationship/friendship, and I just totally feel betrayed. I just don't understand what's wrong with me. I feel like I am an amazing person who is deserving of someone special, but for some reason I can't help but continue to get hurt over and over again. I've been singing "Irreplaceable" [by Beyonce] in my head all day so I'll feel better about myself, but I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense of anger and disappointment. I'm so sick of crying and being sad. I don't get it.

Oh, by the way, I gained 6 lbs in VA. Fabulous.

**Update**
Regarding the car and my cell phone. Well, when I get back to school, I am seeking alternative living arrangements on campus because I need to have my own space to move on. And, as the Beyonce song says:

so go ahead and get drunk
call up that chick, and see if shes home
oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
what did you think
I was putting you out for?
because you was untrue
rolling her around in the car that I bought you
baby, drop them keys
hurry up, before your taxi leaves

And as Jill Scott says, "I'm taking my freedom!"