Word up my lovely CKers!

I'm back post- work out
So I went to the fitness center and did 45 minutes on the Arc Trainer. It felt REALLY good! It was amazing how packed the gym was though, everyone with their new year's resolutions and all. I just don't see why people wait til January 1st to start. To me, it seems like if you were that serious, you would have started earlier. I guess maybe it's just that added push of "new year, new you". I know the New Year has definitely inspired me! Anywho, back to the work out. So I was kinda pissed because when I had about 15 minutes left my batteries were about to die in my MP3 player and so I turned it off until I had a minute and a half left so I could listen to "Push It" by Rick Ross to give me added push. It was a good workout. I'm going tomorrow before my night class and I'm - as always - excited. Tomorrow is weigh-in and hopefully I can be stagnant at 248.??. That will mean that (hopefully) next week I will meet 50 lbs lost!. I am so excited. I can't believe I've already lost nearly 50lbs! I stepped on the scale where you move the thingy today, and it stayed stable at 250 and I didn't have to move it and I was like, "AWESOME!". I can't wait until I can step on the scale and it automatically sinks at 250. Yes! Almost there! I just have to maintain my focus so I can keep going. I think PT sessions will be crucial to keep my motivation and so I will have something to look forward to. And as always, added push from my CK loves would always bring a smile to my face.

Anywho, time to shower and then chill for the nizight. Chow loves!

So today was my official first day of classes. Yesterday, I had spanish for the first time in 3 years and I was like AH! Hold please, can we get a little review?! Well, I'm going to have to work hard to get reacquainted. I really just need a little review and then I'll be fine because I remember a good bit of spanish. I just need help with all the verbage and what now. Anywho, so today I found out that I have not one, but TWO classes with ex. It's really not that bad though. We were joking around the whole time and it's not so bad whatsoever.

Today has been a fabulous day. I'll write more in a little. Haller.

alright, I'm back

So, this is probably really gross, but the fiber I've eaten today has taken a TOLL on my digestive system - if you know what I mean. I've got remote control/keyboard in one hand, febreze in the other. HAHAHA! That's gross I know, but I've got the bubble guts. I didn't go to my last class today (I hate school, really) but oh well. I'll go next time. I really am just not in school mode but I am going to just get it together now. Luckily, tomorrow & Friday I only have one class so everything will be OK. I need to go to job #2 to give them my 2-week notice. There's no way I can do two jobs AND class AND socialize. I HAVE PRIORITIES! Anywho, I'm looking into buying a new bed this weekend in the event that I get my refund this week. I can't wait to get my W2's. Gotta tax refund time. This is only my 2nd year doing taxes so once I came upon the phenomenon called tax refunds, I was pretty pumped.

Despite my semi-erratic eating (or lack thereof) behaviors, I am SO excited to be close to being -50lbs! I just look forward to continuing to shrink. I need to shrink. I am just not feeling content with myself physically. My brother tells me that I crave affirmation all the time, which is very true. I do. When I was younger, my father never assured me that he was proud of me or that I was good enough. Now, I subconsciously always look for that approval and affirmation from family, friends, lovers, whomever. I would love to get out of the cycle where my self-worth is dependent on others. I'm not quite sure how though.

If i haven't said so already, I hate fiber

I am excited to go work out. I added some new songs to the MP3 and I know they are going to give me a huge lift on that Arc Trainer. I really just need some help to get through this weird period. I just feel unsure of myself like, "can I do this?!" I need to do this. Ah...I need some wisdom.