Oh how I've missed you all! Well, I technically came back into town on Sunday night, but I spent yesterday riding around with my mom & eating my life away so I was almost borderline ashamed to come to CK! Anywho, I just got in from the WORST gym imaginable (Brook Park - no offense - is the most non-progressive, ignorant city I've EVER lived in) after being stared at like a freak of nature (and no, I promise I'm not overreacting). But whatever, that's another story.


St. Louis
So, I flew into St. Louis on Friday morning slightly hungover. Mom & I got a little tipsy on apple martini's having our nightly heart-to-hearts the night before so the morning was a smidge difficult. I was so confused when I got off the plane because I left Cleveland at 9:44am and then I arrived in STL at 9:00am and I was so confused. I was literally in the car with pen and paper trying to visualize how it was only 9:50!! Anywho, my dad came and picked me up and it was cool. We gave each other big hugs and I was genuinely happy to see him. Once we got my bags in the car, we went to Sonic(!) and it was SO good. For some reason, they always have hella Sonic commercials in Cleveland and Dayton but there is NEVER a Sonic anywhere close! So I was really excited to finally experience Sonic. What I ordered was blasphemous and probably should never be spoken of again, but it was great! After Sonic, I went with my dad to his job where he is a really big deal. I mean, he is a human dictionary. I simply asked him, "what do you do?" and I think he recited Webster’s backwards. Needless to say, I still am not quite sure what he does. Anywho, so as soon as I get there, I have ten seconds to put my coat down and he goes into proud parent mood and introduces me to EVERYBODY in the stinkin office. I swear, I recited my major and life-after-college "plans" (which I made up, thank you) so many times, I really hope I told them the quasi-truth! After that, he had tons of conference calls (that's what big deals do I guess. To me, three-way is a conference call.)

After we left his job (2:30 CST) we went to Hodak's and ate the most bangin fried chicken IMAGINABLE! I was kind of hesitant, because, well, I question non-"ethnic" fried chicken (don't be offended!). Anywho, it was a-mazing. The portions were HUGE and it was only $6.25!!!! Yea, high cholesterol and death is only worth $6.25!! After Hodak's, we went to his crib which is reminiscent of houses in Cleveland Heights here. It's verrrrrryyy nice! Unfortunately, my dad is a packrat and has nothing but stuff around the house. OK, don't get me wrong, his house is organized and has a fabulous foundation, but he has stuff for NO REASON! I mean, he is obsessed with this store called Marc's here which is probably the most RANDOM store you'll ever come across (it's still fabulous though) and he moved ALL of this JUNK to his new house in STL and I tried to persuade him to throw things away, but everything was too "cute". I did steal an Intuition razor from him because I know he'll never know it's gone! We watched Borat and it was HILARIOUS! I was saying "wa-wa-we-wa" & "High-five. Very nice" all night. LoL It's a very funny movie IF you can handle offensive humor.

On St. Patty's day, we went to the Arch and it was pretty cool. A definitely tourist thing, but it was cool. While we were waiting in line for the Arch ride, there was this mannequin of these black cotton-cropper type guys who "made it" in STL and they were so offensive! Pretty much, it was like "yessuh massah, I knows I gots ta use mah brain but i cane't see straight massah." Yea, it was. Then my dad and I started making fun of it and we were calling each other/the mannequins Reese & Sassafras. It was pretty funny/offensive. We were pretty loud, so I think we made some people uncomfortable. The most EXCITING part of the day was when we went to the Presidential casino and I won [gasp] $20!!! [Corrine, while I was there I saw this lady who I thought was you and I had to do a double take because I got really excited but then after further investigation she looked NOTHING like you. Thank God.] I thought my dad would be a GREAT Samaritan and let me keep it, but instead we used the money on dinner. (Technically, all the money we spent was change he hoarded). For dinner, we went to this eclectic restaurant called Blueberry Hill. It was...interesting. The atmosphere was more exciting than the food. The neighborhood reminded me of a neighborhood in Cleveland called Coventry. After that, we went home and I watched all 90,233 of his TV channels.

Sunday, he made me sausage gravy & biscuits and they were SO GOOD! (I lived on the wild side in STL - and ate A LOT of sausage!!) After that he paid his bills and I dabbled in his alcohol cellar (with permission.) since I'm "on vacation" and he said I could! I got on the plane with sunglasses on and a mouth closed tightly so I wouldn't pull a David Hasselhoff and be deemed too drunk too fly. I wasn't drunk, just tipsy. Anywho, my dad dropped me off after getting all sentimental and I come home to my momma tipsy as all hell and I continued the party!

[Disclaimer: my family and I are not drunks, despite the number of drinks consumed]

Final Thoughts on STL
St. Louis was a blast! I had a great time with my dad; we really bonded and had a great time! I've learned that my dad has the WORST eating/lifestyle habits alive. For an overweight diabetic pushing 50, he had more regular soda/ghetto juice drinks than a college student! He DEFINITELY needs a lifestyle overhaul. I've never been forced to ride an escalator, shuttle, elevator, etc. so many times. I am SO glad I am home where I can walk if I feel like it! I am glad I am away from sausage and extra cheese! I am glad I am back to diet ____! Despite that though, I really feel like my dad and I are making tremendous progress. I him and I am happy I made the trip. I really wished I coulda seen my old bball friend and I also really wished I could have met Corrine ( ) Overall, however, it was fabulous.

Cleveland so far...
Cleveland AKA Brook Park (where I really am) has been interesting. Yesterday it was ice/raining and it was so gross. I hate the weather up here. So, yesterday was dumb. Today, I went to my old job and saw a lot of my old co-workers and oddly, a majority of them looked a smidge...haggard. From what I've heard, that place has gone to hell. Well, I saw my old co-workers and they all said I looked fabulous ( for the ego boost) and it was a lot of fun! Then, me and a few of my old work friends went out to lunch and just gossiped. It was a lot of fun! After lunch, I went to the KKK gym where [what felt like] EVERYONE looked at me like I was a freak of nature! I mean, I've never felt so out of place, so outcast-ed, so weird, so much like I DONT belong and I'm NOT wanted. It was terrible. No one was pleasant, and people did double takes of me like they were shocked to see a _______ person. This city (Brook Park) is just so behind. It's like everyone here has lived here forever and are VERY stuck in there ways and its EVIDENT that they do not embrace diversity of ANY kind with open arms. It's hard for someone as liberal and accepting as me to be in this stinkin city. Oh well, at least I have my black mama!!

So my CKers, I am so happy to be back! I am going to go catch up on everyone's blogs and make sure everyone is still doing fabulous!! I missed you all and it's SOOOOO good to be back!!