Can I just say I am READY to go back to school?! I being with my family, I absolutely love it, but they are absolutely NOT conducive to helping me stay healthy! I mean, this time, I really went balls to the wall. I bought all my normal staples of home life, I brought my scale, and I THOUGHT I brought motivation and will power. Apparently not. I've gone to work out two days (and i probably should've today) but I just feel out of order. Although I accomplished a large feat yesterday (jogged for 10 minutes STRAIGHT) that wasn't enough to keep me from eating and partying. I love being able to have control over my environment. I love being able to do things my way. One thing however that I AM realizing is that I should stop looking for the instant gratification of "big" losses or for dramatic drops weekly. I know the weight will fall off IF I DO WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO! If I fall off on vacation - although it sucks - who cares? 65lbs in 6 months is good and I'm STILL on track to be -100 in July IF I DO WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO! I know how to do this and I know the consequences. I really do. I am ready to get back to school, stay busy, stay focused, go to my training sessions and just really continue to transform myself. I CAN DO THIS DAMMIT!

On a side note, besides still being obese, life is great! (I know this is a weird transition) but iwas watching this special on Discovery Health about this 750lb guy and it was amazing. I was trying to picture myself with 500 more lbs, but I couldn't figure out where it would go. I can't imagine not being able to walk or bend my legs because I was just too heavy. I can only imagine the mental and physical anguish associated with weighing that much. I mean I'm like 230- 235 and I feel like a big fatso but maybe I should put things into perspective (well, maybe I am a fatso just not morbidly fatso). I'm really not trying to make a joke out of someone weighing that much, because i know its not funny. it's just my lingo. If you heard these things coming from me, well, you may still say "you ain't right" but I am NOT laughing at someone else's expense. Actually, I'm not laughing at all. It's just crazy to me, that's all.

Alright before I choke on the perpetual foot in my mouth, I'm going to go shopping! Well, maybe. Anywho, later CKers!