12:18pm
So I've been doing some research on transitioning from treadmill running to outdoor running and in a nut shell, i feel like I'm screwed. I waited too long to get "serious" about training for this race and now it's two weeks away and I've only "ran" outside once and I honestly am petrified to do it again. Today it's way too humid to run outside so it's not happening today but I KNOW I need to start getting outside. I am so scared that my 5K is going to SUCK and I'm going to be uber disappointed in myself. Blah! I guess it's never too late to start training and it IS my first race so who knows. Maybe when i get there I'll be on an adrenaline rush and it will actually be better than I anticipated. I just know my family is going to be there and I want to do great while they're cheering me on and I want to show them how much progress I've made and I'm afraid I won't live up to their OR my expectations. Today I am going to increase the incline on the tready to 1.0 and see how that affects me. I have a feeling I am just NOT ready for this race. I need some inspiration. Some encouraging words. SOMETHING!

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AH, somehow i tricked myself into not getting on the scale today! I told myself I'd get on today to see what it was, and then I totally forgot and didn't get on! I really think I want to try to only weigh once or twice a week. I can just live easier without always fretting over the scale. I guess it's a good thing. I can't WAIT for my bro to bring my car back! I'm ready to go shopping and get some stuff and get off CAMPUS. I really really hope he brings it back today because I'm starting to get off-campus sick. I miss being able to drive. It's been 2 weeks since I let him borrow it, and I mean if he needed it another week I'd probably have no problem with it, I just miss my car, that's all. I know he needs it and it's not just so he can be ghost ridin' and joy ridin' so it's no biggie. I just miss my boo (aka car). So financial aid told me i needed one more class to to be considered full time so I signed up for an extra class . I want all of my financial aid money!!! lol I'm so greedy. I just hope this professor tells me its OK that I can miss the first week of class because I really want to take this class. It'll get me one step closer to graduating!

Today I took my picture for the res services site for next year and I must say I looked PRETTY small. It's crazy, for a long time I can look the same and then out of the ordinary I'll shrink overnight and be like WHOA who is THAT?! Right now, I am the smallest I've been since I lost weight the first time. My face isn't as skinny as it used to be, but my body is shrinking and I almost don't recognize myself sometimes. I notice that I walk with my head up a lot easier now. I'm not as self-conscious (Even though I am still VERY self-conscious lol) and I don't feel like such a social outcast. I wasn't going to work out today but I think I am going to. A good workout always puts me in a good mood.

Now I'm at work staring at this folder of things for me to do that I don't want to do yet but I know I should but I just HATE filing. and this folder has nothing but single sheets and I HATE filing single sheets. Well, I guess I'll just stare at it a little longer. Be back later!