I went to the gym today!! I did an hour on the Arc Trainer and 20 mins on the treadmill. I'm proud of myself, I really am, but something just feels kinda weird about it. Maybe it's all the beef brisket, pulled pork shoulder, mac & cheese, & danish that I ate today that makes me still feel yucky. Oh, or the fact that I felt like I was sweating chicken grease. Regardless, at least I can say I did it. Luckily, today I finish the mac & cheese and the danish cake and those were my two biggest problems. I think I'm going to give my brother the rest of the meat at his bbq this weekend so that's another problem food out of my face. Tonight I think will be rice, broccoli, and maybe some chicken. Even though I ate like pooh earlier today, I can still eat for dinner. And, I even logged the $h!t I ate earlier (i.e. brisket, pork, mac & cheese, cake, etc) Today, I told myself I'd forget the "I'll start tomorrow" mentality. It's never too late in the day to get back on track. And I made the first step today. One choice. One day.
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So yesterday I knew wouldn't be a good day because we were having a program for our building "showcasing" food of the "international" persuasion. Really, it was barbeque, Olive Garden, and deep-fried Indian appetizers. Yea. WELL at the end of the program we had BOOKOO leftovers and my dumb a$$ took tons of the left over barbeque. I have a cookie tray FULL of beef brisket and pulled pork, a bowl of mac & cheese, AND a left over danish coffee cake all in my room. Sounds a like a recipe for failure if you ask me!

I tell you, I'm sick of getting up in the morning and feeling like I am just looking more and more greasy and fat. I know I'm looking bloated. I just have to get the strength to go to the gym. That's the biggest issue right now. I have so many excuses for why I don't want to go to the gym but I know it's the gym that keeps me away from all of the items mentioned above. What I really need is a good grocery shopping trip, an updated playlist on my mp3, and a buddy to push me to go back to the gym. Shawn and I had been working out and she's actually lost quite a bit more weight and now I feel disgusting because she's getting smaller and I'm getting bigger. So much self-pity in one body. Luckily I can still fit my 16s but I don't want to keep hanging by a thread. I just don't know what it's going to take for me to hit my rock bottom and really say "enough is enough" - especially when I have brisket w/bbq sauce, mac & cheese, and an AMAZING danish waiting for me. I know I should give it away, but party of me wants some of it.

Something's gotta give.