So it's labor day. Woohoo. No, not for me. So Lauren and I broke up yesterday It's really sad because I wanted it to work SO SO bad but I guess it just couldn't. There were so many issues that continued to be unresolved and the harder I tried, the less she did and I eventually just said "enough is enough" and last night, I ended it. It's still incredibly fresh for me and I'm trying me best to stay strong and NOT pick up the phone and call and take it back but I am realizing that I lost myself in this relationship and I gave up a lot of things that were important to me. My health, for one, went down the tube the minute I found someone who validated the "new" me. Well, now I'm seeing that I need to be healthy for me. I need to get back to the healthier person I once was. I need to take control of my life and not let anyone deter me from where I want to be. I loved and still do love Lauren so much, and it's taking everything in me to not just call back and say "let's work it out" but I just know that that shouldn't happen. But then again, every minute my phone doesn't ring or I don't hear anything from her, it's telling me that apparently she's already let go, so it's time for me to move on as well. So, as Shawn says, this is the first day to reclaim Denita. So I'm going to try my darnedest to not call. I erased her name out of my phone, erased her from my friends list on myspace so she (or her friends) can't stalk me, and I'm not trying to completely "erase myself from her, but just start over without having to worry about anyone checking up on me. As much as I didn't want to do it, I know that in the future this will be the best thing for me. [sigh] This is still an incredibly crappy feeling. Oh well. i guess you can't force something that just isn't meant to be. Who knows, maybe in the future there'll be something, but I doubt it. In the end, her two exes broke us up, and I think that she'll go back to how she was before me, but soon enough she'll realize i was the best thing that ever happened to her.

And I'm fabulous.