I've hit a really big bump in the road on my journey!! It's been a bad week for me! Weight loss has been going great, but for some reason I've been feeling really down and discouraged. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been able to jog for about 3 weeks now. I'm still walking and still losing weight steadily, but I was so into jogging and feeling so good because I was actually "doing" it and never in my life imagined I'd jog or (even more amazingly) that I'd ENJOY it. And then on the day that I completed the C25K program I injured myself somehow. I don't know how I did it or what I did, but I had finished my jog and cool down and when I stepped off the treadmill I had a terrible pain in my left groin and buttock!! The treadmill is down in the basement and I was hurting so badly I seriously thought I wouldn't be able to climb the steps to get upstairs. It's been hurting ever since. I've tried icing it, applying heat, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Aleve, Biofreeze, stretches, a massage and tomorrow I'm going to the chiropractor. And so far nothing has really helped. I'm just so frustrated! I'm getting bored with just walking and would love to add something new - aerobics or, even better, kickboxing!! But right now there is NO WAY I could do either one of those! Grrrr.....I.JUST.WANT.IT.FIXED.ALREADY!!!

I had a scare with my blood pressure on Saturday. Friday morning I went to a Red Cross blood drive at a local church and gave blood. I came home and exercised as usual. I've been painting our house, so Saturday morning I went outside and started to put a second coat of paint on some trim. As I worked I noticed that every time I squatted down to get to the lower parts of trim and then stood up again I got extremely lightheaded!! I've had issues with high blood pressure and have been taking medication for it for about a year or so. I'm thinking to myself, "This must be a blood pressure thing", so I went inside to check it. The reading - 90/64!! I have NEVER in my adult life had a bp that low!! Well, that explains the lightheadedness, but now I'm wonderin' "What's caused it to be so low?" Aside from the fact that I gave blood on Friday, which depleted my blood volume, and then on top of that went home and walked 3 1/2 miles and sweat like crazy I've also lost 60 pounds!! Do I even need the bp medication I've been taking anymore? So, being the good nurse that I am I decide I'm not going to take my medication Sunday or Monday. Now, part of me was nervous about taking it because I didn't want to have a really low blood pressure and feel like crap all weekend and another part of me was nervous about NOT taking it because I was scared that my bp would shoot up without it. I checked my bp twice a day and it never went about 120/88!! Sweet!! I contacted my doctor and he agreed with my assumption that because I've lost 60 pounds I probably don't need the bp medicine anymore! Awesome!!

Now, if I can just find an answer to my butt/groin problem maybe things will be back on track again. This is the first time since I started my journey that I've felt this discouraged. It scares me!! I'm afraid that I'm going to go into a downward spiral and all of those nasty old ways are going to take over again! I'm afraid that the negative self talk will start creeping in and undermine all the good things I've done so far. I'm fighting this....with every single fiber left in me that isn't already in depression mode!! I DON'T want to EVER go back to being the person I was before I started my journey!! I'm really struggling right now....someone...throw me a life preserver.....please!!