November 9th. For the past 8 years this date has been filled with sadness. Sadness for the loss of a little boy who was only eight years old. Sadness for his mommy, my younger sister and the rest of the family who loved him so very much. I can still remember that day 8 years ago like it was yesterday. Dad calling me at work to tell me that my 8 year old nephew, Dylan, has been killed in a car accident. I remember the sense of unreality...like it was some sick joke...no way could he really be gone. I remember the hurried 45 minute trip to my sisters house and walking in to see my dad holding her on his lap as she sobbed for the loss of her youngest child! No one should have to suffer a loss like that, no one!!
How do you comfort a mother who has lost her child, her baby. How do you even begin to try to help her make sense of the horribleness that took him from her forever? Eight years later I'm still trying to find the answer to that question. Eight years later I'm still looking for a way to ease my sisters pain. I try to speak of Dylan often, to remember with her all the silly, funny things he did and said. We talk about his favorite foods - mac and cheese and blue jello - blue was his favorite color. We remember what a fast runner he was. We talk about how she and Dylan would lay on the roof of the house on summer nights and count the stars. We speak of what a brave little boy he was when he had open heart surgery when he was in Kindergarten and how he showed his scar for Show and Tell at school. We talk about many things because it's so very important to her that Dylan not be forgotten. We remember Dylan and talk about Dylan because we want to keep his memory alive. Because we love him and miss him so much!!
Eight years. Dylan has been gone now for eight years...as many years as we were blessed to have him with us on this earth! I know that he is safe with Jesus now. And I know that should make me happy, and in some ways it does. But when I look into my sisters eyes and I see the sorrow that lingers there my heart breaks and I wonder how this can be part of God's plan. Someday I'll understand. Probably not in this lifetime. But I live with the faith that when I get to heaven I'll finally know. I imagine that my nephew will come running to me with a huge smile on his face shouting - Aunt Lis!! What took you so long to get here? And I'll swing him up into a big hug and say - Well, ya know Dyl...you're mommy and were just talkin about you!