JULES62's CalorieKing blog
Saturday, Apr 21 2012 - Start To My Journey
View JULES62's food & exercise for this day
Here I sit starting my first blog ever. I told myself I would not be a blogger and I find myself starting one. Mostly to have a diary of my weight loss journey for myself or for the bizarre entertainment for others.
I was into Weight Watchers for a while. I found it was not for me. I decided I'd rather watch out for my own calories, fat and carbs. I'll also get myself moving as I don't really move too much! I have a sit down job and when I get home I am too stressed and/or tired to do any exercising. Or so I've told myself. I have been making the time to walk the last week or so. Late last week I started with a mile. I didn't go too quick and I huffed and puffed my way throught it. Which isn't easy at 275 pounds. Today I walked a bit over three miles in the morning and another two after dinner. I feel good about it. My goal is to run those miles this time next year. I ran a little bit today but it was to beat a train coming down the track. Don't worry....I had plenty of time as the train was down from the crossing a bit.
I will take this journey one day at a time. Actually my journey started almost two years ago. I have been quite over weight for many years. And a faithful heavy smoker of two packs a day for many, many years. And I love to drink my wine way too much. July 15, 2010 I just quit smoking. Yes...I wound up being one of those people that decide to stop and do. This July will be two years with no cigarettes at all. After I quit I really packed on the pounds on top of what I already had! And have a respitory problem too. I am also 49 yrs old and in menopause. The cards feel as if they are stacked against me! I am determined to work through this. I know some days won't be so great but I expect most days to be terrific! It's a mindset I think. Like quitting cigarettes. Weight loss feels harder so far.
Each day so far on CK I have had my screw ups and set backs, but hey....I've just started. At least each days mess ups have become less each day (mostly). I figure it could be up to a month before I get myself screwed around to a type of schedule on where I want to be to work on this long journey comfortably.
I would also like to mention how I would like to have a more positive support from my husband of 30 years. I love him dearly but there have been days where I swear he wants me to stay fat. When I first started CK last week I came home and he told me what was for dinner. It was fried eggs (friend in bacon fat no less), bacon, bacon gravy and biscuits. WTH? I felt so sabotaged! And I still do. I guess it will take a bit to drill into DH's head what I want...and need to do to lose most of this weight. I have supported DH in so many ways to help him be optimal in life. Everything from leg amputation, kidney stones, exteme grouchiness, anxiety and what I haven't thought of right now. When it comes to my support? Where the hell is it? I feel as if I am on my own. I need to do this with or without him. Or I will die early and have a long painful, non-breathing fat life until I do die. I do not wish that on myself.
Last but not least, I am seriously cutting back on drinking wine. I can drink alot and thats a HUGE factor in my weight. I drank a regular sized bottle of wine last night. And one tonight. I'll cut down. I don't want to drink during the work week. But I will have some wine on Fri. and or Sat. for now. Soon that will go away too. Maybe cut down to a glass or two on the weekend. I love wine. And love to make homemade wine also. I'll find a happy medium on that.
For the love of God and all thats holy I am done for this first blog. I may never do it again. Or I might do it every day. We'll see how this goes. I'd like to have a diary of my journey to being slimmer and feeling better. And about my life in general. We'll see where it all goes.
Meanwhile, if anyone has read this, have a great remaining weekend. May God be with you and keep you. May peace be also, with you.
I was into Weight Watchers for a while. I found it was not for me. I decided I'd rather watch out for my own calories, fat and carbs. I'll also get myself moving as I don't really move too much! I have a sit down job and when I get home I am too stressed and/or tired to do any exercising. Or so I've told myself. I have been making the time to walk the last week or so. Late last week I started with a mile. I didn't go too quick and I huffed and puffed my way throught it. Which isn't easy at 275 pounds. Today I walked a bit over three miles in the morning and another two after dinner. I feel good about it. My goal is to run those miles this time next year. I ran a little bit today but it was to beat a train coming down the track. Don't worry....I had plenty of time as the train was down from the crossing a bit.
I will take this journey one day at a time. Actually my journey started almost two years ago. I have been quite over weight for many years. And a faithful heavy smoker of two packs a day for many, many years. And I love to drink my wine way too much. July 15, 2010 I just quit smoking. Yes...I wound up being one of those people that decide to stop and do. This July will be two years with no cigarettes at all. After I quit I really packed on the pounds on top of what I already had! And have a respitory problem too. I am also 49 yrs old and in menopause. The cards feel as if they are stacked against me! I am determined to work through this. I know some days won't be so great but I expect most days to be terrific! It's a mindset I think. Like quitting cigarettes. Weight loss feels harder so far.
Each day so far on CK I have had my screw ups and set backs, but hey....I've just started. At least each days mess ups have become less each day (mostly). I figure it could be up to a month before I get myself screwed around to a type of schedule on where I want to be to work on this long journey comfortably.
I would also like to mention how I would like to have a more positive support from my husband of 30 years. I love him dearly but there have been days where I swear he wants me to stay fat. When I first started CK last week I came home and he told me what was for dinner. It was fried eggs (friend in bacon fat no less), bacon, bacon gravy and biscuits. WTH? I felt so sabotaged! And I still do. I guess it will take a bit to drill into DH's head what I want...and need to do to lose most of this weight. I have supported DH in so many ways to help him be optimal in life. Everything from leg amputation, kidney stones, exteme grouchiness, anxiety and what I haven't thought of right now. When it comes to my support? Where the hell is it? I feel as if I am on my own. I need to do this with or without him. Or I will die early and have a long painful, non-breathing fat life until I do die. I do not wish that on myself.
Last but not least, I am seriously cutting back on drinking wine. I can drink alot and thats a HUGE factor in my weight. I drank a regular sized bottle of wine last night. And one tonight. I'll cut down. I don't want to drink during the work week. But I will have some wine on Fri. and or Sat. for now. Soon that will go away too. Maybe cut down to a glass or two on the weekend. I love wine. And love to make homemade wine also. I'll find a happy medium on that.
For the love of God and all thats holy I am done for this first blog. I may never do it again. Or I might do it every day. We'll see how this goes. I'd like to have a diary of my journey to being slimmer and feeling better. And about my life in general. We'll see where it all goes.
Meanwhile, if anyone has read this, have a great remaining weekend. May God be with you and keep you. May peace be also, with you.
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3 comments so far.
3.
a decade ago
Hi Julie,
I am also new to blogging and to CK. I am 56, 57 in July. I weighed in last week at 229 pounds. I'm 5'4". I have been struggling with my weight for a few years now and like you I have been sabotaged by my loving husband. I read somewhere that spouses often unconsciously sabotage their partners efforts to lose weight out of fear that they will lose them. I don't know if that applies, but thought I would share.
Recently I sat in the car with my husband and my stepdaughter and told them about my recent blood tests - how my cholesterol is steadily getting higher and the doctor said I'm pre-diabetic. I told them both that I am heading straight for a heart attack if things don't change and that I need their help. I spelled out that I need to walk everyday but I am lazy and need them to help me get my fat-a$$ off of the couch and into my sneakers. I spelled out exactly what I need from them in support and how I can't have sweets and junk food in the house while I'm doing this because honestly, the food calls to me until I give in and eat it. So far, so good.
by LITA
2.
a decade ago
Thank you for the kind and supportive reply. It is nice to know someone here on CK that is currently at about the same weight as myself and knows of the struggle. However you have struggled more than I have. Way to go! Your accomplishments so far are something to be proud of and feel good about.
It is a trial of ourselves and how much we can strive to achieve our goals. With like friends here on CK and other internet venues plus our real life friends and family giving us support we can lose this weight and succeed at many other goals.
I'll be adding you as friend on my list. I only have one other so far! I'm still very much a newbie here. Hope to hear from you periodically and the progress your making.
Julie
by JULES62
1.
a decade ago
Hi Julie. I am also a bit ambivalent about blogging. I've been trying it some; the jury's still out whether or not it's helpful.
But like you, I'm willing to try something new. Actually you and I have a lot in common: I'm 53, I hit menopause in the middle of my weight loss efforts, and I have a husband I love but who just doesn't get it. He's often an enabler or unwitting saboteur.
I also know what it's like to huff and puff through a mile at 275 pounds. <high five> on your walking efforts!! That's a richly wonderful accomplishment. I hope you're rejoicing in that. You deserve to feel good about it. Your goal of running it this time next year is totally do-able.
Congrats also on quitting smoking. That's amazing.
No disrespect to that accomplishment (!!) but I think what you're feeling is correct: Losing weight is harder than quitting smoking. That's because one CAN completely quit smoking. You can't quit eating. It's a requirement for life. Food has tenacious social and emotional attachments. Nobody will bring a tray of cigarettes into a meeting at work. Cigarettes are not served at every social occasion. And your husband, unhelpful though he may be, won't offer you a particularly luscious cig to help you feel better.
So the frustrations & doubts you're feeling right now are totally valid. You hang in there. You just need to find ways to get through the trials. Ways that work for you, that are uniquely yours. It IS all in the mindset.
One day at a time, friend.
Toni
by TMOORE1