KLPEARSO's CalorieKing blog
Thursday, Nov 15 2007 - November 15, 2007 - Thursday
View KLPEARSO's food & exercise for this day
I'm having a very off day today. 
I only got 5 hours of sleep last night. Ron and I had a discussion that got heated and ended with me in tears 
(again). And because I was so upset last night, I didn't eat dinner, which isn't good. I was afraid that if I ate, I wouldn't stop, so I ate just a pear. At this point, I just don't know what to do with my marriage. I love him so much but at the same time, I'm so tired of being unhappy. He doesn't understand or is concerned with my feelings and it creates miscommunication and no common ground. 
He blames all of our problems on me and can't understand why I just can't do things he wants because it's so important to him and would make him happy. He doesn't understand why I make all this such an issue. I've admitted to causing issues but I refuse to take all the blame! He's 50% of the problem. Because of the discussion with Ron (lasted several hours), I didn't exercise so I feel bad about that. I so want to do this and get healthy for myself and not someone else. I don't want to let another man destroy my self esteem (what little I have at this point) and get fatter. I deserve to live a healthy life and to be happy.
I only got 5 hours of sleep last night. Ron and I had a discussion that got heated and ended with me in tears (again). And because I was so upset last night, I didn't eat dinner, which isn't good. I was afraid that if I ate, I wouldn't stop, so I ate just a pear. At this point, I just don't know what to do with my marriage. I love him so much but at the same time, I'm so tired of being unhappy. He doesn't understand or is concerned with my feelings and it creates miscommunication and no common ground. He blames all of our problems on me and can't understand why I just can't do things he wants because it's so important to him and would make him happy. He doesn't understand why I make all this such an issue. I've admitted to causing issues but I refuse to take all the blame! He's 50% of the problem. Because of the discussion with Ron (lasted several hours), I didn't exercise so I feel bad about that. I so want to do this and get healthy for myself and not someone else. I don't want to let another man destroy my self esteem (what little I have at this point) and get fatter. I deserve to live a healthy life and to be happy.
2 comments so far.
2.
a decade ago
Karen, my heart goes out to you. I won't give you any advice because I didn't do so go in the marriage department myself. I will tell you that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. You do not deserve verbal abuse that you are taking. If he won't go to counseling and learn to nurture this relationship, you may have to leave. It will be the hardest thing that you ever do but you deserve to be happy. Take care and keep writing. I will pray for you.
:heart1:
by BLUEMOON
1.
a decade ago
Oh honey! I'm sorry you had such a rough night! It sounds like you'd be willing to work it out and stay together if he was somewhat receptive to your feelings, etc. People are not going to change unless they want to. If he doesn't feel that he is doing anything wrong, and he hasn't tried to work on things during this seperation, I can't imagine he'd suddenly change his spots. Have you tried marriage counseling? Maybe hearing things from someone other than yourself could put it into perspective better? Just remember this. You have every right to be happy. You are a good person. You deserve to be treated better than you are being treated right now from your husband. Do NOT let him destroy your efforts to rebuild your self esteem and make yourself happy & healthy. You CAN do it. With or without him. I know you love him and will be hurt to lose him....but would be you any less hurt if he stuck around and continued to verbally abuse you? Hang in there and keep your chin up!
:kiss:
by JUSTCALLMECOLEY