I'm new to this blogging stuff and I never kept a diary, but I think it might be good to put down my thoughts as I progress on this long journey. I am almost 57 and about 90 pounds overweight. I have practically no muscle mass and could have easily won the Couch Potato of the Year Award a couple of weeks ago. I know a lot about nutrition and dieting just like many other obese people. I have struggled with my weight most of my life. For quite a few years I settled for being happy at roughly 150 pounds which put me in a size 14 on my 5'4" frame. In January 1993 I lost my husband and found myself alone with twin 13 year-olds. I went through a severe depression but by the end of that year I was on the road to recovery. During my recovery I got into all kinds of physical activity and became a slim, muscular, 145 pounds wearing a size 9-10. Physically those were the best years of my life, however, it didn't last. By the mid 1990's I started to notice things weren't quite right. I was climbing a flight of stairs when I suddenly felt so weak in my leg that I literally had to stop and lift my leg with my hand to get to the next step. These were stairs I climbed up and down several times a day, so that was a bit disconcerting. Then the pains in my knees and hips started. Over the next few years things went from bad to worse until I was so sick all the time that something as simple as a headache had me bedridden. Eventually doctors discovered I had Graves disease and I had my thyroid removed in November of 1999. Within a week I felt like I had gotten my life back. The difference was dramatic. But I had gained 40 pounds and lost muscle mass so it wasn't all good. Instead of attacking the weight I gained more and more over the years as I quit smoking, went through menopause and a couple of tragedies. In retrospect it amazes me how things got where they are now; so many little changes over time that accumulated to make me what I am today. All the way up to my wonderful husband who wants to do things for me. We met back when I was busy doing the single mom routine and my washing machine was broken down. I used to haul baskets of laundry to the laundrymat and back every week. He once told me that when he saw me doing that he vowed to himself that if we became a couple I would never have to lift another laundry basket. So romantic. So heartfelt. So well meaning. And so bad for my health because I didn't replace the activities he took over with other activities. No, I got a laptop and discovered the internet. One day I woke up and realized I don't do anything besides going to work where I sit at a desk all day. My husband irons my clothes and drives me to work. If I'm too tired to cook dinner, he either cooks, we go out or we have take out. Mostly the last one. I get up on my days off, go to the living room, turn on my laptop and the TV and get up to shower and dress, use the bathroom or eat. I only shop for groceries if I want to. If I don't want to, he buys a few things here and there. Like I said, Couch Potato of the Year. So I had to make a routine visit to my doctor and he ordered the usual tests. End result - I am officially pre-diabetic, hypertensive, obese, and I have elevated cholesterol. I've had high blood pressure for years and I take two different pills for it, but the cholesterol and prediabetes actually scared me when I looked at the whole picture. So in the second week of March I started a half-hearted attempt to change things for the better. Then a couple of weeks ago I serious and recruited my family to help me really do this. I exercise a minimum of 4 days a week and I've been cooking every meal this week. I've lost a total of 9 pounds in the past month or so. I joined CK a couple of weeks ago and it's helped.

Obstacles - at my age it is much harder to build muscle than it was when I was younger. It still hurts to exercise - no matter what type of exercise I do. I felt quite defeated Tuesday night after my workout because I kept having to stop during the routine because it hurt too much. And that was an easy beginner, stretching routine for women over a certain age! Anyway, after the exercise session I showered and weighed in. Thankfully, I had lost 3 pounds since last week and it was just the boost I needed to keep going. Last night I was feeling down and really wanted to eat something sweet, but I drank my lemon water, brushed my teeth, kissed my husband and went off to bed. This morning I'm glad I did.