LOVE2RUN's CalorieKing blog
Saturday, Mar 14 2009 - because when comes down to it, I really do care
View LOVE2RUN's food & exercise for this day
Do you ever get that feeling that you just don't care anymore? Staying in the weight loss/control mode can be so consuming. Counting calories, endless exercise, researching weight loss topics. Fixing "special" meals just so that you can eat, passing on the cookies, candy and ice cream...again...watching all those other people who just don't care. Those same people who laugh at you and tell you it's not worth giving up the foods they love. Why do I care? Why am I willing to give up the foods I love?
Then I look at the before pictures. I read my diary of when I was unhealthy and unhappy. I remember when I couldn't hold up my head because of the shame I felt, of my own body. A time when I let others belittle me and put me down, think less of me, because I felt I deserved it. I just didn't care.
I browse the blogs and Forums of CK just so I can communicate with others, who like me, care. Who, like me, are fighting everyday not to slip back into old habits and undo all their progress. Some are fighting with all their might, some are hardly trying at all and some don't even know how to fight. For some it has become second nature, effortless and natural. I strive to obtain that status. I beam with pride and burst with enthusiasm when I reach it. Yet some days, like a black plague of doom and fatigue, I'm struck with the feeling that... I just don't care.
I try not to think about how easy it would be just to give up. Just to slip back to that horrid life; but I can't go back. I just can't.
I hate those days.
**************************************
UPDATE:
Nothing like a good, long run to shake the Moody Blues!! WHO-RAH - Man I feel great!! I choose this life because I Love it!!!
Now why didn't I just think of that before?
Then I look at the before pictures. I read my diary of when I was unhealthy and unhappy. I remember when I couldn't hold up my head because of the shame I felt, of my own body. A time when I let others belittle me and put me down, think less of me, because I felt I deserved it. I just didn't care.
I browse the blogs and Forums of CK just so I can communicate with others, who like me, care. Who, like me, are fighting everyday not to slip back into old habits and undo all their progress. Some are fighting with all their might, some are hardly trying at all and some don't even know how to fight. For some it has become second nature, effortless and natural. I strive to obtain that status. I beam with pride and burst with enthusiasm when I reach it. Yet some days, like a black plague of doom and fatigue, I'm struck with the feeling that... I just don't care.
I try not to think about how easy it would be just to give up. Just to slip back to that horrid life; but I can't go back. I just can't.
I hate those days.
**************************************
UPDATE:
Nothing like a good, long run to shake the Moody Blues!! WHO-RAH - Man I feel great!! I choose this life because I Love it!!!
Now why didn't I just think of that before?
2 comments so far.
2.
a decade ago
Glad you're feeling better. It's not fair how some people can eat all they want and remain thin. But I tell myself they may not be healthy. And that's what this is all about really, aging well and remaining healthy. Be well. Sue
by MEDIASUE
1.
a decade ago
I know that feeling of diet fatique all too well - I should have taken a long run today! Hang in there - you will shake it off - I am glad to hear you are already feeling better.
by LORILOVE