I very seldom drink, one or two at the most, on a rare occasion. Yet, I imagine the remorse I feel today would be similar to that of a reformed alcoholic who has fallen from grace.

It really wasn't a fair fight. At the time, I thought I was battling only one demon; but as the new day dawns and I gaze at the carnage of the night before reflected upon the bathroom scale, I realize, I never stood a chance. It was four against one.

First came the Deprivation Virus. Sneaking around my ankles like a deadly, unseen gas. I inhaled the virus into my sole with every breath I took. My defenses weakened by the week previously, where I controlled each bite and every tidbit that went into my mouth. I should have known the disease was there, sight unseen, by the way my eating the following week continually fluctuated out of control.

Second in line was the Self-Defeater. Yesterday had begun with a bang. Little did I know it was the banging of the gate that had opened and released the Hounds from Hell. My 10 in 10 challenge weigh-in was successful. Yet I belittled myself into thinking I didn't deserve it. I didn't work hard enough, I didn't control my eating well enough. Why was I succeeding where others have failed? I'm no better than they - How could I go onto the Forum and post my success, when clearly, I don't deserve it? Yes, the Self-Defeater, a heartless and cruel bastard, slammed at my defenses with his mallet until my ego lay bruised and bloody, clearly an easy target for the Enabler.

The Enabler. The third demon through the gates of hell is disguised as my lover. Don't get me wrong, my husband loves and adores me more than any one woman deserves; which makes my pulverized ego an easy mark for the Enabler. Having never battled the dark demons who swirl around our waist, hips and thighs, he unknowingly becomes one of them. Plying me with sweets and treats; never withholding a thing. In his eyes, I'm perfect and he'll do anything for me, provide me with every whim, every desire, that the Beast of Binging whispers into my ear.

Fourth in line, and the fatal blow. The Beast of Binging. Weak and crippled from the aforementioned persecutors from hell. I was easy prey for the beast. He sank his teeth into my resolve and ripped the will-power from the very heart of my soul; allowing the Enabler to lovingly fill the gaps and wounds inflicted by the fangs of the beast, with morsels of food brought on by uncontrollable cravings, imposed unwillingly upon me by the Deadly Deprivation virus. All the while, the Self-Defeater laughed in delight at the pain wrenched upon my sole.

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Okay, Okay, a little dramatic. OKAY! OKAY! Very Dramatic and quite over the top; but you see, I started having fun with it and that took away the trauma of letting myself down. If you can laugh at your mistakes, then their no longer mistakes. They are life-time adventures.

Thanks for listening CK, I needed that...