Wednesday, Oct 29 2008 - WARNING: RANT AND NEGATIVITY
View MAMAMARTINEZ's food & exercise for this day
Update - 7:50 am: Thanks for the support ladies! Your comments are so supportive and helpful. I do have some wonderful friends who have taken my daughter off my hands so that I could get some much needed rest. The two year old is not a problem because she naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon anyway. I even have one friend who has taken both girls so I can get a break. My husband has also been super helpful. I think it's mostly just guilt on my part because it's not ME spending time with her. She has school until 1:30 Tuesday and Thursday, and we're at church until 12:30 or so on Wednesdays (she's in the childcare, while I'm at MOPS). So, I think that maybe I am missing the time I used to spend with her every afternoon. I am sure that I am making way more out of this than there actually is. It's just hard to deal with Mommy guilt, esp. when you're pregnant!
I got to sleep at around 1 am this morning, so six and a half hours is not too, too bad!
And yes, somehow I missed the fact that my blog was set to private. In my insomniac mania last night, I started playing with the settings and finally set it to public. I always just thought that a) my life wasn't interesting enough to comment on or b) everyone already had too many blogs to read to comment on mine

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This is so stupid! I am awake again! It's almost 12:30 am and I cannot sleep. I hate insomnia! This pregnancy it has been at it's worst, to the point that I can barely function several day a week, I keep forgetting stuff, and I can't seem to focus at all on anything. I am so tired during the afternoons that I can't really stay awake and my 4 year old ends up watching way too much TV while I doze on the couch next to her. How sad is that? Poor thing! I know she has to be kind of lonely during that time, and I keep telling her that things will get better after the baby comes. But, I still feel bad. It doesn't seem to bother her too much, but it bothers me. She is such a sweet girl and I don't want her early memories to be of Zombie Mom asleep on the couch.
I also had a really lame OB visit last week, where he basically yelled at me for gaining too much weight last month. I pointed out to him how much weight I lost from being ill in the beginning and that I am only up 14 lbs. at 26 weeks. He became very embarassed and apologetic. I was really upet for the rest of the day. Also, I know that I ate horribly last month. I have not exercised in months. So, this made me feel evne worse about the whole situation, because I actually could be gaining less weight now and making life easier for myself after I deliver. Not to mention, I logged exactly one meal before I lost track and gave up. Pathetic.
OK, enough negativity. I wish I had a pregnancy hormone shut-off switch.
5 comments so far.
5.
a decade ago
finally your journal isn't private anymore! lol I have so wanted to return the favour by offering you the same encouragement you have offered me.
:)
by REBELLEMICHELLE
4.
a decade ago
ARGH!! Your doctor got on your case about your weight! And wouldn't it figure: it's a male who has NO GNIKCUF clue what it's like to go through this nausea and food cravings and aversions. Yes, he can UNDERSTAND from a mental standpoint, but unless you actually go through it, in my opinion, you can't really understand. I am a hard core exerciser and dieter. I am so self disciplined and regimented in my diet and exercise that I call myself GI JANE. That all went out the window when I became pregnant. I WAS SO SICK. I gained 40 lbs in 30 weeks. I can't imagine what your doc would say to me. But I would not have tolerated it. I would have told him to stick it. Walked out and found a new doc. But that's just me.
:) I told my doc not to talk about my weight anyway. So she knows!!!!
by GIJANE
3.
a decade ago
I've tried looking for your blog before, but it was private. YAHOO! You're with us now!
:)
by GIJANE
2.
a decade ago
how did I miss this?? did you have your journal private for a while? I swear I looked one time and the site said you didn't have a public journal. I didn't realize you were pregnant and already half-way there -- congratulations! good for you for setting your OB straight. it was hard for me to log during pregnancy and I'm still struggling with really getting back into it, especially now that I'm back at work. when I get home I don't really care so much about what I eat or if I work out, I just want to spend time with my husband and beautiful son.
:cool:
by HOOSIERSTACE
1.
a decade ago
Yikes! No sleep and an inattentive dr makes for a cranky mama! 14 lbs in 26 weeks is fantastic -- if not a little low for the reasons you said! Do you have any friends nearby that you can arrange a playdate for your daughter -- fessing up that you're going to use the time to REALLY nap? Growing a baby is hard work and perhaps if you got a real nap in during the day you could reset your body clock & get back to spending quality time with your daughter. Feel better soon!
:kiss:
by NMA5632