When ever I go over my calorie count or I find myself in a binge my after thoughts are this, I feel " fat". This feeling of "fat" started before I was even considered fat, it started in my twenties. I have been thinking about this for some time and been wanting to write about it in my blog for a while too. I've read how others feel when they go over into the red: guilty, frustrated, defeated, and fat. It's like we all have lost the battle for that day and have that over whelming feeling of feeling " fat" for the day whether we actually are. I think for me the reason why I feel this way is because the actions have led to me becoming fat and thus bring on that terrifying feeling of hopelessness that I will never conquer this battle of the appetite much less my weight. So, I pose to you today a way to conquer your fear every time it rears its ugly head. Repeat after me, " it is only a small skirmish in the entire battle, the war is not over until the last pound is shed". Those of you who are at maintenance can say, " One skirmish does not make a lifetime of defeat, I have won this battle and will never again go back to the way I was before. "I believe to conquer this "fat feeling feeling we have to remind ourselves of the truth and not let ourselves sink into our past feelings that got us to where most of us our where we are today. If I have learned one thing in my short time at CK it is this, we all have come from a place where we have thought little of ourselves. This is where I am coming from. I can only begin to wonder how I came to think of myself as being fat when I weighed 120 pounds back when? Now, I think of myself as thin because I've lost so much weight even though the scale says I'm still heavy. It's all in the mind an attitude an its helping me to lose now. I feel better about myself. Now when I go into the red, I look at it as a general who sees the entire battle plan, and I don't feel fat anymore.
I see the doc Wed. and get a bandage change on my hand.This operation has turned out to be nothing what I expected. Compared to the Carpel Tunnel operations this op is a breeze. I was expecting the worse and got the best.
My dog's bump's burst open last night and look pretty ugly. I will take him to the vet and see what to do today. This is a nasty infection and we may have to take this biopsy after all on this infection. He's not been eating much lately and has lost a lot of weight.
My daughter will be coming over for Easter dinner and has requested a grill dinner. We originally were going to her house, but her fiance got a job and will be out of town that weekend. So, she wants one of our famous grilled dinners. She asked for a chicken dish of some kind and some grilled veggies since she is in training. No problem, this type of dinner is easy to clean up. A lot of people have ham on Easter which means some kind of sugar glaze. CK has a good recipe for ham called " Christmas Ham Glaze"which I took and made sugar free to cut out some more calories. We ate this ate Christmas and my family loved it. I am going to give my substitutions and you can look up the recipe for the directions.

1/2 cup Splenda apricot juice ( the Kroger I go to sells apricots in sweetened juice. I used this. It was in the fruit section )
2 tsp orange rind
1 tsp Splenda brown sugar substitute
1 tsp ground mustard
2 tbs Smuckers Sugar Free Apricot Jam
2 tbs lemon juice

follow the recipe... use the cloves...
Note: My family also uses ham steaks and pours this glaze on the ham steaks instead of buying a whole ham. There are only four of us when we get together and no need for left overs.
Asparagus goes good with ham, here is a sauce for it: 1/4 cup lite mayo, 1 tsp orange juice concentrate,
2 tsp orange rind: drizzle a little on your veggie for flavor

Have a good day