What a way to celebrate my 33 year anniversary this weekend, by going to a wedding of a young man we have known since he was a little toddler ! Well, that's what we will be doing come May 24 on our 33rd anniversary. They chose a good day to get married, and we will probably be too tired to celebrate ours after traveling all day an attending a wedding.
Tomorrow I go in and start the procedures to burn the nerve in my SI joint. It's been 14 months since I last had this done. Yes, I do get very tired of getting these procedures and feel I have frequent flier miles in the surgery center's OR, even the staff there say I'm a frequent flier. These procedures have gotten me up and walking again where once I was totally handicapped. So, I can't complain from that aspect. Where I do complain is how much these things cost. I worry about the day I will no longer be able to afford them. In the meantime, I pray for the FDA to ok a procedure that might give me relief that is waiting to be used here in the US. It is showing a lot of promise in Europe, but this new drug that would promote bone growth in degenerative disc has a long time of processing in America before it will be approved. I can only sit back and be patient and continue to get the nerve burns and cortisone injections.
OK, I should make it clear about the outfit I bought for my daughter's wedding. I actually did buy two different sizes of pants since they were on sale. Two for the price of one on clearance. Also, they are of the style which are easy to adjust by going to the tailor. I got a 18 and a 14. The 14 is a little too tight. Shows crack, but I CAN ACTUALLY GET IT ON NOW. The 18 fits comfortable now and is easy to move around in and will be easy to make into a size 16 or 14 latter on. For 19.00 a pair I thought I could afford getting two pairs of pants. This way, I got my daughter off my back on what I am going to wear to the wedding now. She can rest now, I am covered now. What ever weight I end up at I will be ok. The blouse will fit what ever the weight I'm at and so will the jacket because I got the jacket the right size. As I get smaller, the jacket will look better and fit better. I don't think these broad shoulders will shrink as I lose weight, even when I was thin I had broad shoulders and big to content with, so the jacket will be wearable for a long time. I'll get some use out of the size 18s since I had nothing to wear to Church anymore. Now, at least i have two pairs of dress slacks to my name. One thing for sure, I can't wait till I am one stable size and won't have to have a lot of different sizes in my closet. OK, so most people who lose weight probably have different close sizes in their closet. I just want to get down to goal and have one main size in which I can say, " that's my size".
Now, I need some help. I need to get back on the band wagon. I had two bad weeks. Hubby helped me with them too. We were partners in the over eating. Although, he managed to lose weight this week since he got sick this week.I on the other hand did not. I gained a pound. This is not acceptable in my book. I am determined to get my pump adjusted as soon as possible and to get the lows behind me, but I need some moral encouragement right now. When you have a set back, it hurts your self confidence, and mine has taken a beating these past two weeks. Yea, I admit it. I was shaken by my set back in how hungry I have been lately and how quickly I can return to over eating. I thought I had put those days behind me. Maybe I didn't really over eat, but it has felt like it to me. Just a little over eating now feels like a massive amount of over eating and a one pound gain might as well be two tons to me. Does anyone else ever feel this way ? It's kind of like feeling flabby after losing weight or over eating or still feeling fat after losing all your weight. Anyway, I think my mind is in a weird state right now. It could have something to do with the fact that I have placed a deadline on myself that I never have done before. This in itself is kind of freaking me out. Maybe I should just drop the trying to lose so many pounds by such and such day... anyway, these are my thoughts for today. I may not be able to blog tomorrow...anesthesia does me in some times. See ya latter.