Boy, am I kind of feeling fat right now. It seems over this past week I lost it. I really lost it and may have gained back back about four pounds. I don't know what got into me as I ate that box of granola cereal and half box of other cereal, not in the same day but over a weeks time period. Sure, I've been a bit upset over a few family matters, but this is NO excuse to go back to the old ways. Yet, I did. Now, I have this aching feeling in my heart as well as in my gut from eating all that high fiber cereal. Teaches me for sure. I was never this tense before my daughter's wedding, or upset over my son's decisions before, why now. Then there is the fact that my other brother in law who has cancer, is out of remission and has been given, maybe ten months. POOH ! This will be his last Thanksgiving holiday with us and I am grieving inside. My husband hasn't shown his emotions as usually which get's my goat twice as much.He holds it in, and in. Someday it will come out, and when it does...he just doesn't show much emotion.
Anyway, back to my weight, I will have to hit the diet again starting Monday and get more serious to get back to where I was. I have been humbled and prove my humanness for sure. What is more, I showed I still have that side of me to crash when under pressure. I guess I am going to see what I am really made of now and what my body will really do now as I try to recoup from my little disaster and pop right back into weight loss mode and get my weight right back to where it should be. This is what normal people do when they have a bad month. People like me would give up and just keep eating and let themselves keep getting fatter. I am not going to let this happen to me again. So, I will go back to the foods that worked for me when I was losing and put away some of those maintenance foods and start the logging again. I may even knock the surgery back a little until I get my weight where I want it.
I do have some good though. I had to buy a few pairs of pants today since I needed something for winter. I am out of " wide " sizes and can now fit into misses. Yippee. I can even now shop at Target and Academy and the "regular " stores. I haven't been able to do that in a long time. Now if I could just get into a normal pair of shoes !
Well, tomorrow my husband's family comes down to meet the newlyweds in their home. I have prepared: green beans, potato salad ( requested by all ), lean hamburger patties for those of us who care, serloin beef patties for those who don't, fixen's. The family is bringing : a fruit and veggie tray, deviled eggs, beans, a broccoli salad, chips, drinks, deserts. I tried to get it as healthy as I could.