I am trying to get back on track. One way I am doing this is to remove all clothes in my closet that are too big. I found that if I remove these " safety " or reserve clothes that in the back of my mind there is no going back. You heard me, if I start to gain I am out of luck. I will have nothing to wear. This is motivation. Tight clothes, that bloated feeling,a painful aching back, all of these feeling are yucky motivating feelings that always make me comply to my diet a little better.
It's not that I have been eating junk food. I have been eating healthy food as that is all that is in my house. It's just that I have been getting up in the middle of the night and eating something or taking in one too many extra snacks or binging when I start eating something I really enjoy these past few months. It's like I have felt deprived and want to make it up. I have had a talk with myself and realize I must be going through that " I want to give in to that enjoy food at any cost nature of mine. I was thinking, do I really want to enjoy food THAT much at the cost of those other feelings I have described ? I woke up this morning and said NO. I also needed to decide if I could lose more weight. I had this unbelief in the back of my head that this was it. That my body could lose no more weight. That plateau had really messed with my mind and confidence that I could keep losing weight. Then it hit me, as long as I am still over weight, this body should be able to lose weight. That's physics. It's nature, and I shouldn't doubt it. I just need to be very careful now more than ever, and very honest with my self if this is to work. I like that song from the Disney movie Prince of Egypt called If You Believe...sung by Cloe of the Celtic Woman...if you believe miracles can happen... I have decided to make that my theme song for weight loss along with the song My Grace is Sufficient for You sung by Chris Tomlin. When ever I get down on myself I will put these songs on and remember that His Grace will keep me going and miracles do happen if only you believe.
Yesterday at the doctor office my doctor was amazed and happy that I can now do the walking that I can do. He smiled and said I have come a long way from where I was a few years ago. He, more than any other doctor I go to knows the struggles of people trying to cope with life with pain and handicaps. Mobility with diseases like mine difficult and painful. So, for me to have this victory is probably a great achievement despite the pain. It also shows him that with the aggressive treatment we have been doing that a person can decrease the pain and function better and have less pain. So, for him it let him know that his treatment plan can get results if a person follows it. I will need to go in for another nerve burn in two weeks and found out that I may have some hip problems to add to my SI_Joint problem that will need to be addressed. I could be having some pain coming from my hip as well as my SI_Joint area. This is why I am limited to just walking 2 miles on the treadmill. I found though if I add the exercise bike to my routine, I can increase my cardio up to a hour though. Now my routine is 30 min bike/30 min treadmill and my joints feel fine now. This will leave me 30 min to do a light weight work out and some stretching time.
Thanks for listening.