MOUGHI's CalorieKing blog
Tuesday, May 19 2009 - hi
View MOUGHI's food & exercise for this day
Been absent for a few days as I have been out of the house running around. I am in the process of getting rid of foods that I let creep back into my house when I got weak and got off my food program. Sugar was my main culprit. I had to go back and re-read my notes on things that I would not do on order to keep my weight off from the Beck cards. Gee, I really must keep the pledge to not eat sweets unless it's on special occasions. I am gradually getting all sweets and even healthy granola bars out of my house because I eat them like sweets. I even have trouble with cereal even though cereal can be healthy. Sometimes I even wonder how I managed to stay on a healthy eating program in the first place and lose my weight .
I guess my only answer is that I did managed to change the foods I eat and the portions that I now eat. I still have the compulsive problems, but in smaller degrees to deal with. I am dealing with these and hope to someday have these compulsions down. I am compulsive in other areas beside food, so this won't be easy. I have come to recognize my short comings and thus I am finally beginning to really see what I did is something. I know this may sound like false humility, but I never felt like I accomplished anything by losing the weight because I always felt like it was something anybody could do. Now, I am realizing just how hard it really was to lose that weight as I struggle to get back on this new diet.
For some reason I didn't have the emotional challenges or the physical challenges that I am now having with these last 20 or more pounds that I did with first 82. I almost wonder if that was me losing those first 82. I seem like a different person now mentally. I can't for the life of me conquer the hunger demon or the sweet tooth even though I know all the right things to do. Do I not have the will, the trust in my maker, or have I just not made that commitment yet ? I know I am going to stay with it until the old me shows up again and everything all comes together again though. Last week was a bust. Half the week I did ok, the other half was a total failure.
gotta go, I have much to do this week. Will try to go by and read some blogs this week. Have a nice week if I don't get by.
I guess my only answer is that I did managed to change the foods I eat and the portions that I now eat. I still have the compulsive problems, but in smaller degrees to deal with. I am dealing with these and hope to someday have these compulsions down. I am compulsive in other areas beside food, so this won't be easy. I have come to recognize my short comings and thus I am finally beginning to really see what I did is something. I know this may sound like false humility, but I never felt like I accomplished anything by losing the weight because I always felt like it was something anybody could do. Now, I am realizing just how hard it really was to lose that weight as I struggle to get back on this new diet.
For some reason I didn't have the emotional challenges or the physical challenges that I am now having with these last 20 or more pounds that I did with first 82. I almost wonder if that was me losing those first 82. I seem like a different person now mentally. I can't for the life of me conquer the hunger demon or the sweet tooth even though I know all the right things to do. Do I not have the will, the trust in my maker, or have I just not made that commitment yet ? I know I am going to stay with it until the old me shows up again and everything all comes together again though. Last week was a bust. Half the week I did ok, the other half was a total failure.
gotta go, I have much to do this week. Will try to go by and read some blogs this week. Have a nice week if I don't get by.
2 comments so far.
2.
a decade ago
It's called "resting on your laurels! This last pounds are the hardest because you feel better and look better. More satisfied with yourself, than before!
You are doing great! Keep up the good work! You CAN do it!
What are some of your lower calorie meals at Panera? I am going again on Friday. I have been absent from here a month again and need to get back on track! <3 Eliza
by ELIZA
1.
a decade ago
You know Lory, I wonder if it isn't something chemical. Honestly, I would NEVER have considered myself a sweet eater BEFORE I lost my weight, of course, it could be because I was so busy eating WHATEVER I WANTED but, since I have lost my weight, dessert has become almost a mandatory meal to me! Interestingly enough, I am a few days into challenging myself to no dessert for a month and the last few nights I have been really listening to my body at that time and I find that I am NOT EVEN HUNGRY. I am eating 100-200 calories and I am not even hungry!! It is definitely in my mind and I am still working on it!!
by NMA5632