I'm doing better even though I couldn't go to the gym today. I got plenty of walking around stores though today. My husband is going to let me buy a HRM next payday. Sports Authority has them on sale 10 off plus another 25% off making the polar f6 75.00. I think that's a pretty good price. I don't know if that includes the band though. I have decided after reading all of you for three years to kick in the bucket and finally get one. Now I can use it to motivate myself and to really know just how many cals I use up. I may surprise myself and actually use more than those machines at the gym say I do. MY daughter says it would be really good for me to see how much I can push myself with my asthma. So far my back has been giving out before my asthma and my legs. So, the goal is to get my SI joint and hip stronger so my asthma will give out before them as when I was younger. When I get to that point I will be happy. I am also for the first time going to say I want to lose 30 pounds and get down to the lower 130's. I never believed I could do it. But now I want to try. I could not and never have seen myself as attractive or thin even when I was thin.
This has been a major problem with keeping my weight down. Why make healthy food choices if you think it won't matter. Why try if you don't care. I was called the ugly duckling of the class. Now I realized that was cruel and untrue and I don't have to keep believing it. How many of you all have had stories of your parents or someone in your life telling you something that has ingrained in you untruths ? God made us beautiful. We are His creation and HE sees us as beautiful and wonderfully made. We have value to Him. We have purpose, to Him and to each other. That's why He wants us to take care of ourselves. Our bodies are a Holy temple the scriptures say. If He cares about our body, shouldn't we ? Shouldn't I ? Shouldn't I see myself as beautiful and valuable ? When I get in that binge mode, I am being self destructive and don't care what food does to me. This is the opposite attitude that God wants me to have for myself. So was the attitude about not going for my goal weight. I see that now. Don't sell myself short. Trust God, believe in myself, and allow for the mistakes. I'm not the perfect the one, He is. He will give me the strength, self control, the patience, and oh yea, the the forgiveness when I fail. I know this is a journey, a process, a life's pathway, but with Him all things are possible.