I got a good incentive this week as I checked my blood sugar over and over. THIS MONTH IT WAS NOT GOING DOWN. Ok, I have not been eating right in the sugar and carbs. I broke all sorts of Lory rules and diabetic rules and it was showing. The two steroid shots didn't help either. I ran to my doctor not just because my meds weren't bringing down my numbers, but for a reality check. Thankfully he had a good attitude about it and said this too me. You did it once and will use this to get back to where you were before.

I realized I had gotten totally away from what worked for me. I do have my reasons for my falling apart, don't we all. I can say though that I don't like the way I feel right now and remembering this feeling vs how I felt 30 pounds lighter is making me think a whole lot about my attitude.

Thanks for the encouraging words. Yes, yes, yes, people here do understand what is going through this head of mine concerning my battle. You all also can talk about food and exercise without being offended. I recently got into trouble when I posted on Facebook an article from a research group aboup the addictivness of sugar and how it was similar to other drugs. The leader of our Celebrate Recovery group knows how I feel about having deserts on the food table at our recovery meeting. I was just pointing out that I felt we should provide alternative fruits for food addicts. I wish or really felt the deserts should go, but those who don't have a problem with sugar wouldn't like that. It just hurt me to see those struggling with food addiction come in and stuff their faces with cookies because the sugar was there. It's a longer story...but we wouldn't serve beer for obvious reasons.

I am off to see my family in Denver. I don't know what to expect when I see my Mom. My brother has prepared me. she is stage 4 Alzheimers. I think my brother is going to have to move her into a nursing care sitiuation soon from what it sounds like. I almost expect that she will only know who I am because she will be told who I am. In some ways I am almost glad I put some of my weight back on so she might recognize me. ( or it might work the other way) I don't even know if I will be able to touch her and hold her because I don't know what kind of stimuli she can handle. I suspect this is her last year of life. I am just grateful I finally have the money to fly up there to see her. Thank you Southwest for going to Denver now !