MSTEECHUR's CalorieKing blog
Wednesday, Apr 23 2008 - SLAP!
View MSTEECHUR's food & exercise for this day
Smarting just a tad from being on a message board. I think sometimes I come across COMPLETELY counter t o how I'm trying to come across. I think it best I just stay away from the boards for awhile. I want to have a positive experience...certainly don't need to intentionally invite stress or negativity into my life. I can muster enough of that on my own, thank you very much!
The reason it felt like a slap was that I was truly trying to help. And I don't think that the people who disagreed understood what I was saying, but that's okay. That's not what bothered me (although there was a real desire to say "Wait wait wait! You're not HEARING what I'm saying!"
. It was the mocking because I run marathons, as if I somehow think I'm superior. Well if running a stunning 11 minute mile in a marathon makes me some sort of elite athlete, then I must not be on planet earth. I have NEVER intentionally made another person feel "less than" because they don't do what I do, physically. If I have, yipes! I totally don't mean to!
I've shared before, my first race was a one miler. ONE single mile. I was DEAD LAST. No, I'm not kidding. In fact, the clock read 20:00:00 and I think they'd just turned it off. While there were extenuating circumstances (we got there late and then this family wanted to know if their kids could run with us), but needless to say I was S L O W ! ! and I don't say that in a mocking way towards myself or anyone else. I was proud as PUNCH to run a race. I didn't CARE I was last. (And that is SO not like me because I am very competitive, but not in sports because I simply cannot compete.) Last year I went to the Portland Marathon to walk with two friends who were walking it. Did I think, "Oh how cute, you're WALKING, but I RUN!" NO! Not even remotely! I was so proud of them and let me tell you, I think I'd rather run than walk. Walking is HARD for 26.2 miles. Plus the walkers rock. They're having the MOST fun back there. While waiting for Heather and Patty I would cheer on the walkers and it was kind of fun "getting to know" them on the route as I'd see them again and again.
I don't care if you ran your first 90 seconds today, or ran an ultra marathon yesterday...I think if you exercise and you've embraced it and you are learning to love it, you rock! Exercise, even more than just weight loss, has the power to transform your life on SO many levels.
So to have someone suggest that I think I'm better, well that hurt. I think it's because I kind of think of everyone on here as friends. I was wrong, obviously. When it really comes down to it, we aren't friends. We're just people with a shared interest in weight loss. We aren't buddies and I shouldn't get hurt when someone is rude. But as my mama always said (in a mocking tone when she'd hurt me), "Tory is just SO sensitive." Thanks Ma, for always validating my feelings.
I think the nice thing is, I don't even remember who wrote what, so I am not angry at anyone individually. I just realize that I shouldn't invest where there's no point in investing. We all say things from behind the "safety" of the computer and don't always stop to think about how it might hurt someone. So I guess when we read from behind the "safety" of the computer, we need to stop and consider that the slings and arrows aren't intended to sting as much as we might let them.
The reason it felt like a slap was that I was truly trying to help. And I don't think that the people who disagreed understood what I was saying, but that's okay. That's not what bothered me (although there was a real desire to say "Wait wait wait! You're not HEARING what I'm saying!"
. It was the mocking because I run marathons, as if I somehow think I'm superior. Well if running a stunning 11 minute mile in a marathon makes me some sort of elite athlete, then I must not be on planet earth. I have NEVER intentionally made another person feel "less than" because they don't do what I do, physically. If I have, yipes! I totally don't mean to!I've shared before, my first race was a one miler. ONE single mile. I was DEAD LAST. No, I'm not kidding. In fact, the clock read 20:00:00 and I think they'd just turned it off. While there were extenuating circumstances (we got there late and then this family wanted to know if their kids could run with us), but needless to say I was S L O W ! ! and I don't say that in a mocking way towards myself or anyone else. I was proud as PUNCH to run a race. I didn't CARE I was last. (And that is SO not like me because I am very competitive, but not in sports because I simply cannot compete.) Last year I went to the Portland Marathon to walk with two friends who were walking it. Did I think, "Oh how cute, you're WALKING, but I RUN!" NO! Not even remotely! I was so proud of them and let me tell you, I think I'd rather run than walk. Walking is HARD for 26.2 miles. Plus the walkers rock. They're having the MOST fun back there. While waiting for Heather and Patty I would cheer on the walkers and it was kind of fun "getting to know" them on the route as I'd see them again and again.
I don't care if you ran your first 90 seconds today, or ran an ultra marathon yesterday...I think if you exercise and you've embraced it and you are learning to love it, you rock! Exercise, even more than just weight loss, has the power to transform your life on SO many levels.
So to have someone suggest that I think I'm better, well that hurt. I think it's because I kind of think of everyone on here as friends. I was wrong, obviously. When it really comes down to it, we aren't friends. We're just people with a shared interest in weight loss. We aren't buddies and I shouldn't get hurt when someone is rude. But as my mama always said (in a mocking tone when she'd hurt me), "Tory is just SO sensitive." Thanks Ma, for always validating my feelings.
I think the nice thing is, I don't even remember who wrote what, so I am not angry at anyone individually. I just realize that I shouldn't invest where there's no point in investing. We all say things from behind the "safety" of the computer and don't always stop to think about how it might hurt someone. So I guess when we read from behind the "safety" of the computer, we need to stop and consider that the slings and arrows aren't intended to sting as much as we might let them.
6 comments so far.
6.
a decade ago
I hope you end up going back to the message boards. Thing is - you have the experience and the success to back up what you're saying and you always give accurate and valuable advice. I just think that some people dont' like it if it challenges their current habits or ways of thinking. I think I know which message board you're referring to (was it the one where I posted right after you saying "great post, Tory?"Obviously I liked what you said at least...
:laugh5:?) Anyway - I interpretted that as supportive and even offering a way for the original poster to get through this annoying situation. I liked your post and it's too bad others didn't see the supportive and helpful nature of it. Just remember, even though there are people who can get snippy, there are 100 times as many people who are reading what you write, benefiting, smiling and nodding, and not posting (and, because they're not posting, you have no idea). Anyway, I think you're a very kind and valuable part of the CK community.
by LAURAGLAURA
5.
a decade ago
Yep, its happen to me before - the sad thing it was in real life. I've had friends who think I think I'm superior because I lost weight. uhhh, no. Its really just a formula you follow - nothing about it makes me a better person on the inside. I've had friends who make every excuse in the world why they didn't train for the 1/2 marathon we signed up for together. Does it make me a better person because I did train (and will be thankful for 11:00 minute miles)? Uhhh, no. So I don't know why they feel like they have to make excuses. You have other priorities - whatever. I try to tell them that nicely - "running isn't for everyone - it is a priority for me so I get up at 4:30 am every morning to run. Just because you have different priorities doesn't make either of us better then the other. We just have different interests" Yep, it didn't go over well and evidently I was questioning thier work ethic. I gave up. Hang there - I know I certainly have learned more from you then you will ever know!! So, please, keep the advice coming even if others don't take it!
by EPJ78
4.
a decade ago
hi tory. sometimes things get snippy on the message boards but i think your advice and motivation for others is really worthwhile. i gave some tough love the other day and got cut down too; but the bottom line is that your perspective is very valuable to many members. i like your 'no excuses' appraoch. some people might not like your opinion but it's all over a day or two later. that's the beauty of the virtual community. just my $0.02
by NEIMANMARXIST
3.
a decade ago
Hi, sorry you were misinterpreted. I have found that some people like to hear themselves complain on the boards and don't really want solid advice. There are a lot of enablers on this site as well (IMO) Keep up your inspiring posts. Sue
by MEDIASUE
2.
a decade ago
I stay away from the message boards for just that reason. As a result, I didn't see the thread, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you feel misunderstood and I think you are an inspiration to everyone. Have a great day!
by KLWALK
1.
a decade ago
The forums can be a tough place, it is too easy to misunderstand someone or miss their point completely. I enjoy hearing your perspective and experience on subjects so I would rather you ignored your critics and kept on writing but I understand if you feel the need to protect yourself. Just don't think all of us feel the same way as the few that hurt you!
by MEYDEE