I'm over today. After working so hard the last few days to stay under even after I splurged, I just said what the heck today and went over. Things are just so crazy here. I know it's not an excuse. Stress should not be dealt with with food. But here I am doing just that. I just feel discouraged. What put me over was that my mother-in-law had made gluten free sugar cookies for my son. They were pretty good and when I got back from class, I was so hungry (even though I had a protein bar during class). When I saw that I was over my target by 100 calories (which isn't too bad) I decided to go ahead and have the chocolate peanut butter balls that I've been craving.
I'm just so worried about the baby. He's still not eating well. Barely had 5 ounces of formula today. I will have to call the doctor again tomorrow. We just don't know what's wrong. I"m so worried that it's my fault. I should have fed him more before now. Now I"m wondering if his appetite has shrunk and that's why he doesn't want to eat. Because I wasn't feeding him enough in the first place.
My paper for school is overwhelming. My husband is stressed out with his job and is being hard on me about certain things. Complaining about me being in school and all of the added stress it puts on our family, as if this is a pleasure walk on the beach for me. I just can't seem to keep up with everything. And so yeah, I'm over my calorie target today. Perhaps that's the least of my worries right now. It just doesn't help to feel fat and guilty on top of everything else.
Okay, I've complained enough for one day. But I think it helped to write about it a little.