I had the worst food day I think I've ever had-ever!! No way am I going to log today. And I always log no matter how bad it is. Well, it's so bad. I just kept eating junk all day long past the point of being full. So when I was thinking and analyzing all of this, I realized that I'm really angry about a situation in my life. And I feel so powerless. I think eating today was about anger. Anger unexpressed is turned inward, or so I learned in my grad classes. So here I am punishing myself because I'm angry about this person and this situation. This situation is very painful, but I care about myself too much to allow it to hurt me this way physically. Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I'm very hurt. Hopeless, Worthless, I could go on. But I do value myself and know that I'm too important to let my health and well being suffer this way. I've decided to journal about it. Not here-it's too personal. My first thoughts are that I don't have time to journal. I have schoolwork and housework and a gazillion other things. But I can make 10 minutes to deal with this in a journal.
I'm also pms-ing. So things are just getting to me more than usual. I weigh in tomorrow and I'm just preparing myself for a gain. I've just not done well this week-i don't see how it can be anything else.
I have decided that I need to give up sugar. It's just so addictive for me. But I'm worried about feeling deprived. My plan is to slowly give up sugar-like starting with candy. That's a big one for me. My mom always gives it up for Lent. And I asked her how she deals with feeling deprived. She says she thinks about the things she's grateful for and all of the ways she is blessed instead of focusing on what she doesn't have at that moment. I love that and plan to use that. In fact, I am thinking of starting a simple gratitude journal where I write down 3 things I'm grateful for each day. I know, all of this journaling! Where will the time come from? But Oprah has always advocated a gratitude journal. I think she might be onto something.
Here's to a new day tomorrow!