Yesterday was a really difficult day. This whole week has been so busy with my husband gone. I've been doing well with food and exercise until yesterday afternoon. It was like something came over me and I just had to have junk food. I really wanted candy, but there was none in the house, thank goodness. So I had just gotten a gluten free cake mix in the mail and made cupcakes. Plan was to have 2 and freeze the rest. Didn't happen. I had 7. Seven!! I'm so embarassed to even admit that. They weren't frosted and they were small but they were a little under 200 cals each-so you do the math. So in my "I already messed up" thinking, I went on to have more junk food. It's too embarassing to write here. But I did own up to it in my log.
I'm doing better today but I did have some slips ups with m and m's this morning and some baked cheetos this afternoon. But I'm still doing okay. Doing awesome with the exercise.
So while I was exercising, I was really analyzing what caused me to get so off track yesterday. I think I was so stressed out (and still am) with everything I have to do. But more than anything, I felt like a bad parent. I'm not giving my boys enough attention or at least, I'm afraid I'm not. I drag them all over the place to run all kinds of errands. Then when we're home, I'm trying to get caught up on housework and phone calls. I feel like I'm neglecting them, and I felt like that especially yesterday. We went to the dentist, the YMCA, the mall, McDonald's for playgroup lunch then home for naps. I had to wake them up early so we could go to grandma's while I went to school. Crazy! And all of those things are not necessary. I could cut some things out. Most days aren't that bad. This week is just particularly busy. I don't want to give up my workouts at the Y. And if I do decide to train for a triathlon, that's going to take some dedication and time. So I'm trying to figure all of this out. But at least I did get to the root of why I went crazy with the food yesterday.
One of my professors once said, guilt is a useless emotion. You use it to examine what you need to do differently and then get rid of it. So that's what I'm going to do.
Here's to a better day today .