So today was my first free day with BFL. Interesting. My goal, as I said yesterday, was to not go crazy. I did not have that urgency of a binge. Ya know what I'm talking about? That desperation to get to that forbidden food. It was a calm choice to eat some normally off-limits foods. This morning I had the breakfast that I wanted and planned. I had those roasted almonds that they roast in cinnamon and who knows what else in the mall. That was my lunch-followed by candy. Lots of candy. But not huge, binge amounts. I got small amounts of a few different types. Had some chips with my son tonight.
I even logged all this! I plan on having some icecream after this--those little personal sized packages that they're selling now.
I'm feeling quite bloated. This week I had noticed that my stomach felt flatter and my jeans fit better. I figured that it was from not being bloated from junk/processed food. I think I was right.
So I think I'm ready to get back on the program. i want to feel good again.
One thing that was interesting to me: when I allowed myself to think about foods I wanted to eat that I normally don't, I wanted to eat gluten foods. Like when I was in the mall, I wanted an Auntie Anne's pretzel. I had to reign in my mind--no, still can't have gluten foods. No free day from that. Normally I tell myself, that's okay, that food isn't healthy anyway. I'm better off. But today, when I was allowing myself (well-earned) unhealthy foods, I felt a little sad that I couldn't have them. But it's still okay. I had PLENTY of other yummy foods to eat.
Okay, so not horrible, but I would like to eat less junk on my next free day. Well, my next free day is Easter with my Easter basket and CANDY! We'll see. And we'll see how today affects the scale later in the week.