Good News: I have now finished my Masters degree in School Counseling!!!
I am so happy about that and so proud of myself. I took my last final exam last night and now I am done. It was a lot of hard work and I'm so glad it's done.
Ya know what's weird, though? I am very glad to be done, but I've been in school so long, it feels weird to know I am not going to have it anymore. I went back to continue with my degree when my older son was 5 months old and it was a good outlet for me, to get away from the kids/house for a while and to challenge my intellect.
But, I have many other ways to do that now. I have so many things I want to focus my time and energy on now that I'm done with school. So excited!!

Okay, bad news: I had some Fritos with dinner tonight (we had taco soup) and I had way too many. I have had major cravings all day and yesterday too. PMS for me. That's part of it. I think part of it too was that I decided not to take a free day this weekend because of my recent 4 day binge. I think maybe I was rebelling a little bit, feeling deprived. Not good. I hate these mind games that I play with food. The good thing is that I did not say "Screw it" and then go on to eat a bunch of icecream and other junk because I already messed up. I am proud of that because I really wanted to.

So Ashli challenged me to list 10 positive things I have accomplished since starting BFL.
I've been thinking about it alot. Here's what I have come up with:
1. I have stopped the nightly icecream ritual. (Yes, I had a bowl of icecream every night. Very proud of stopping that habit.)
2. I have increased my water intake. (10 glasses a day)
3. I have cut out all candy except on free days. (This was hard for me.)
4. I have increased my protein. (I had been wanting to do that. I usually didn't get enough.)
5. I have stopped nurturing myself with food. (Still struggle with this one, but have made positive strides).
6. I have increased the intensity of my workouts--especially weight training since I started the BFL style workout about 2 weeks ago.
7. I have stopped eating junk just because other people are eating it. I have learned (for the most part) to walk by and not grab what they're eating just because it's there.
8. I have proven to myself that I have self-control and can choose to not eat junk food. I haved proven that I am in control.
9. I am learning to eat only when I'm hungry (still working on this one too.)
10. I have become more aware of what my triggers are and what I need to do to deal with them.

Wow! You were right, Ashli. That is a lot that I have accomplished. I am going to print this out and refer to it.
While I have not lost any pounds or inches, I learned a lot about myself. I have fallen a lot, but I have learned from those experiences as well.
So I need to count this challenge as a success in spite of lack of physical results. And for my next challenge, I will be more aware of what I need to do.

Here are some goals I wrote a few weeks ago when I was doing as BFL suggests and lists what your goals are, what you need to stop doing and what you need to start doing to accomplish them.
Health and Fitness Goals
1. Establish healthy eating habits.
2. Eliminate poor, unhealthy eating habits.
3. Be a positive, healthy example for my children.
4. Feel confident about my body and myself.
5. Feel proud of myself for what I accomplish and how I live my life.
6. Live a long healthy life so I can be there for my children and grandchildren.
7. Increase lean muscle mass.
8. Complete a triathlon.
9. Decrease body fat.
10. Fit comfortably in size 10 clothes.

Interesting that that comes to exactly 10. I didn't plan it that way. And also interesting that I did not mention a scale number. Cynthia has been saying all along that we need to measure progress in ways other than the scale and I agree.

What I need to stop doing to reach these goals
1. If I mess up, stop binging the rest of the day. Forgive and move on.
2. Stop eating when I'm not hungry.
3. Stop buying junk for other people in the house--especially triggers.
4. Stop eating something just because it is there.
5. Stop using the scale as the sole measure of progress.
6. Stop eating emotionally--especially out of anger or need for nurturing.
7. Stop believing that I am deprived if I can't have certain foods.
8. Stop feeling resentful when I choose not to eat junk food or jealous of other people who do.
9. Stop beating myself up for the times that I've stumbled through this process. I have and am still learning a lot about myself.
10. Stop all or nothing thinking. I don't have to be perfect. Progress not perfection.
11. Stop pressuring myself to be a certain weight at a certain time. Recognize that this a life time process of being healthier.

What I need to Start doing to reach my goals
1. Learn from mistakes. Write about binges--record emotions and foods involved. (Corinne's nutritionist's idea! )
2. Listen to self-talk cds daily. (I've been slacking on this one-they really help).
3. When I feel resentful or jealous about not eating certain foods, think or write something I am grateful for--some ways that I am blessed.
4. Take time to do something for myself each day. (besides exercise) "Daily Joy"
5. Read goals daily. That really helps me keep my focus.
6. Work on self-acceptance.
7. Commit to completing workouts.

Whew! Long entry today. Lots of self-reflection. Thanks to Ashli for the kick-start.
Hope anyone reading this didn't get too bored.