Alright-y, I'm going to try a new blog format and see how I like it.

Exercise Report
I went running with my friend. We met at a park that has a track and her husband watched all 4 kids (Isn't that sweet?). We alternated walking 1/4 mile with running 1/2 mile. The total time was 56 minutes, but we think we ran 2 miles total and walked about 1 1/2 to 2 miles. (We kind of lost track). It felt great. I am really enjoying running. I love the challenge!
And my kids loved playing in the park. It worked out well. We will probably do this every other Saturday at least. And my friend and I plan to run one evening a week after the kids are in bed.

Food Report
Difficult day today. I know I am PMSing big time. I am having cravings like crazy. Trying to stay focused but it's hard. The 2 slips I had today were having some cookies with the kids and eating popcorn with my family (the butter loaded microwave kind).
I am feeling very sad today and I am realizing how much I want to use food to comfort and nurture myself. Tonight I really was in the mood to bake something. Cookies or something. I love baking, but I know it will get me into trouble. So I've been thinking a lot about it and I think I want to bake for comfort and nurturing (and of course eating it afterwards).
The good news is I realized this before doing it.
At first I thought, I just don't care anymore. But I remembered 2 things: my goal lists I wrote yesterday and Corinne's comment in my blog a couple days ago. I think it was something like, "don't eat over him, do what you have to do, but don't eat because of him."
I thought about how much I care about myself and how awful I'll feel if I bake cookies and eat a bunch. And I chose not to do that. Yeah, Good Choices!
I'm really not a cookie person normally. I think the baking process (and the subsequent eating) is what I feel would be comforting and nurturing. I can't think of anything healthy that I could make as an alternative.

Daily Joy Report
Taking time to run with my friend was great for me. I really enjoyed that today.

Daily Gratitude Report
I am so thankful that I was able to run without pain in my knees today. Those injections really helped. I am also so thankful for my friend (and her husband who watched the kids.) She listened to me talk about the worries of my heart while we ran and she gave me great insight. (while we huffed and puffed-It's hard to have deep conversations while running!)

Other Thoughts
My friend is worried that I am too focused on food and losing weight. She may be right. She also thinks BFL is too restrictive and the free day is not healthy for someone who is a former bulimic. She has been losing weight by reducing portions and eating only when hungry. She recommended a book called Thin Within that I have ordered from B&N.
She has me re-evaluating my program. I really like BFL but it is restrictive and that's hard for me. Especially lately for some reason.
But I know I have a hard time just having a little of something. Small portions of trigger foods, well, I have not been successful with that.
I had planned on continuing with BFL, but I'm just not sure. I have been struggling so much lately. I think more because of emotional reasons.
I like cutting out all junk food and having a cheat day. I really like that I have increased my protein intake, but sometimes I just want to eat fruit for snacks and I think, but what protein will I have with it? That part is a pain.
I have felt better when I did cut out the junk food. If I hadn't been struggling with following the plan lately, I wouldn't be questioning it.
But I'm just now sure what direction to go right now.
I am going to finish out the next 4 weeks with BFL. I am going to stay on plan as much as possible and then maybe I'll have a better idea of where to go next.

Okaaay, another long entry today!