Food Report
b-oatmeal and watermelon
s-zoneperfect bar
l-salad w/deli ham, cheese, light dressing and grapes
s-soy crisps, rice thins (I was so hungry this afternoon; I think I had something else too, but can't remember.)
d-g.f. spaghetti w/sauce and cauliflower/broccoli
s-yogurt

Pretty good day. See insights below in "Other Thoughts".

Exercise Report
This morning I did BFL upper body. Tonight I went running with my friend for our weekly running/therapy session. We increased again and I'm so proud of myself. We ran 1 mile; walked 1/4 mile; ran 1 mile; walked a 1/4 and then ran 1/2 mile. So total run was 2 1/2 miles. We are increasing how much we run without stopping.
I love running. Calories burned with running was like 581! Wowzer!

Joy Report
I have had so many little things to do today that I didn't take much time for myself. I planned to have quiet/prayer time at the end of nap today, but I got interupted by 2 phone calls and then the baby woke up. Really, my joy of the day was my running. It was wonderful and I had great conversations with my friend.

Grattitude Report
I tried to take moments today to really focus on my kids and enjoy them. I have been so obsessed with all of these food issues. I don't want to look back at this wonderful time in my life and regret that I was so focused on food and weight stuff. I want to savor these special moments with my kids. So this morning I got on the floor with my 3 year old and played cars with him. Only thing was that he got involved in something else and while I was waiting for him to come back, I fell asleep. I was so tired today. I've been staying up too late. But I'm getting off track here. I'm grateful for these special moments with my boys. It's so cute when my son will take his Curious George and say, Mommy, I love George. Or I love puppy. And he'll just say out of the blue sometime, "I love Daddy."

Other Thoughts
I call my weekly running sessions with my friend "running therapy" because I'm always telling her what's going on in my life and all my worries. She tells me hers too, of course. One thing about her is that she rarely tells me her opinion on something I'm going through. She tells me her own experience and usually I learn a lot from it. Tonight she gave me a lot to think about. She is the one who suggested I read "Thin Within" and she is reading it too right now.
Anyway, I was describing how I think I really am okay with the way I look right now, but I'm so afraid I'm going to keep gaining. I mean, I've gained all of this weight over the past few months. How would I not keep gaining. I also told her similar to what I wrote above that I don't want to look back at this time in my life and see that I was so focused on these stupid food issues that I didn't enjoy my kids.
She said her reasons for figuring out this stuff now was so she could be a positive example to her kids. She has a daughter and a son and she said, even if she stayed the same weight that she is now, she'd be fine with that, but she wants her kids to see that our value is not based on our bodies, or the things we have or the things we do. But our value is in God.
Wow. That really impacted me. That is exactly what I want for my children. I wrote in my goals that I want to be a good example of healthy eating for my children. But in my journey to be healthy, I want them to gain more than that from me. And I certainly don't want them to see an obsessed mom with an unhealthy view of herself, her body, and food.

Another thing that we talked about was my new chip trigger goal. I told her that I just can't handle eating chips and have thrown it in with my trigger foods as no-nos. She told me that when she finds that she keeps eating something and has trouble stopping, it is because she feels guilty about eating that food in the first place. She figures if she's going to feel guilt about it, she might as well go all out and eat too much.
I'm really thinking about that and am trying to decide if this is what I do as well.
I know that this weekend, when I was trying to have only 1 serving of chips, I felt guilty for eating any. I did stop at one serving at first. It was a short time later that I went back and had a bunch more. So I know that the guilt thing could definitely be part of it.
It's hard to let yourself eat a food that you have avoided for so long.
Her solution is that she lets go of the guilt and tells herself it's okay to have one serving.
Something to consider.

Oh, and the baby is much better today. Finally!