Food Log
So far today:
B-protein pancakes and light syrup
L-grapes; spaghetti and meat sauce
S-apple and Zone bar
D-
S-

I am so hungry today. Don't know what the deal is.

Exercise Log
BFL Upper Body workout--About 30 mins.
I did pushups to hit both my chest and back. But in looking back at it, I probably should have done double the sets if I was going to do one exercise for 2 body parts. I did do separate exercises for the superset.
I did ladies pushups and was feeling pretty good. So I tried to do 2 men's pushups. Yikes! I felt very weak. I definitely have more, a lot more, strength to build. :tongue:

Other thoughts
I'm examining my issues and compulsions today. I was feeling really awful yesterday about that picture I saw yesterday and the fear that I'm headed that way again.
I want to stop having anxiety about it and just trust myself that I will follow my plan and I will be fine. But I am worried that if I don't beat myself up about this, if I don't obsess about numbers (in hopes that numbers bring me to reality and give me negative motivation) then I am afraid that I will just lose control and eat whatever I want. I use negative self-talk to try to keep myself under control, but in actuality, I think it backfires.
I think I actually create more anxiety and negative feelings over which I want to comfort myself with food!!! What a vicious cycle.
My main goal is to stop compulsive eating--eating emotionally and binging.
If I focus on that goal and deal with my feelings/issues instead of eating over them, then I will lose this weight.
And I can be kind to myself and say affirmations and be healthy by loving myself. But, of course, it's easier to say this than it is to put this in action.
But the more I deal with things here and with my fellow strugglers, the more I will be successful.
As I wrote the other day, at first it is so hard to resist the triggers. But it gets easier as it becomes a habit.

I will update more at the end of the night, hopefully.