I haven't blogged lately, but I have been on the site here and there. I have been really busy and very stressed out. I started my jewelry business (lia sophia) and had 2 shows this week--one was tonight. I am enjoying it. I love the jewelry but I am so worried this isn't going to take off for me. We really need some more income and I don't know if this is the answer but it seems like the best option right now so I don't have to go back to work yet.

With food, it's a long story really. I have only logged here and there. I have been in this feeling like a failure mode, so I guess I just don't care and eat whatever.
I think I've been falling into a mini-depression about the food and weight stuff.
My husband is concerned about me and heard an ad for this place called Professional Weight Management. He's not concerned that I'm gaining weight. He thinks I exercise in order to compensate for the way I eat and that worries him. And he sees me eating things he know I don't want to eat.
So I made a consultation appt just to see what they were about.
This is not for me. They want a bunch of money for their snacks (bars, shakes, puddings, etc) many of which are not gluten free. They want me to eliminate all carbs except certain veggies and their snacks for the first 2 weeks. It just gets worse from there.
The thing is, it helped me realize a few things. I could lose weight very fast on their program. They said I could easily lose 15 pounds in 10 weeks (I have no doubt eating that way!)
But really, it's not the weight loss that worries me the most. It's the compulsive eating. That's what I really want to stop. I'm gaining weight from that and I have anxiety that I will continue to gain weight.
But I know what to do. I know how to eat healthy. I don't need them to tell me how and what to eat. I need help with the emotional aspect of this.

So I made an appt with my counselor and saw her today. I hadn't seen her in a few months. But she told me she is moving to Florida in 2 weeks!!! I am so sad because she and I really clicked and worked so well together. I like her style and we get a lot of work done.
We covered so much in just today's session and it really helped. She is referring me to another counselor in the same office (and also takes my insurance, thank goodness). She says our personalities should fit well together.
So I have another appt in a month with the new counselor. I wish I could get in sooner. I am ready to work on things now. I am tired of wallowing in this failure and the self pity. I want to face my fears and my feeling and stop eating over it.
But I don't think I can do it alone. I really need someone to help me work through it all. But I need more help now!
Okay, well, at least I'm headed in the right direction at the moment.