I want a cookie right now so bad. SO BAD. They are calling to me. This is why I try not to keep this junk in the house.
I just came back from the meeting with the school district and Collin does not qualify for services. At least not for his eating problems. They are considering those medical only and not affecting his education, but they are going to test him for speech. I am really not surprised, but I am disappointed. My son needs therapy for chewing and insurance won't cover an occupational or speech therapist.
Hence, the desire for cookies.
Plus I came back to an absolutely messy house. I have a few extra minutes before I do the pizza to straighten up. But I thought I would quickly write about my cookie desires to help keep me accountable and remind myself of what is really going on. A cookie will not make me feel better--only worse. Don't do it, Nikki!
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Happy Halloween!
Yesterday I did really well with food and exercise until the pm when I made halloween cookies with my son. At first I told myself I wasn't going to have any--that I would just wait until my splurge meal tonight. But I realized that wasn't realistic. So I told myself I could have 2 cookies.
Well that didn't happen. I think I had 6 and these were huge cookies.
Once I started, the sugar tasted so addicting. It was crazy!
Here's the thing: I'm not a big cookie person. But we don't have cookies very often because we have to make them ourselves gluten free. So I think I just went a little nuts. Plus homemade cookies taste so much better than store bought. I'd take a homemade cookie over an Oreo anyday (not that I can have those anymore anyway, but you know what I mean.)
Okay, so the self-condemnation started in last night. And here is where I get into trouble. It's that perfectionistic, all-or-nothing thinking. At PNP, Corinne calls it "fat girl thinking".
This is a huge thing that I need to change in order to be successful. Otherwise I give up every time I fail. And I knew going into this that I would have slips ups.

So right here, right now, I am going to focus on what I did have success with yesterday.
1. When my kids ate Cheetos and fruit snacks, I didn't have any!
2. I ate a healthy breakfast, post workout shake, snacks, and dinner.
3. I didn't obsess.
4. I did a great lower body workout.

So I actually had more successes than set-backs. I need to see that and focus on that. Plus plan what to do next time I bake and do not want to eat so much.
( Jen (PJENA), if you're reading this, maybe you have suggestions as I know you love to bake and have learned to usually not go crazy with what you make.) And anyone else with suggestions, I would welcome them.

Anyway, I have a crazy day planned. I drop Collin at school, go to a meeting with the school district to see if I can get therapy services for Collin, run home to make Collin a gluten free pizza (they're having a pizza party at school) bring it to him by 11:30 and then pick him up at 12:15 (which is early since he can't seem to get potty trained, but that is another story.)
I have to get them down for naps, get them up earlier than usual so we can get into costumes and get to a church Halloween party.
The thing is, I would just have Collin skip his nap, but he missed it yesterday and was super crabby. So I don't want to do that. But on Sunday, I got him up from his nap and got him in his costume to go to Grandma's, and he was really out of it and didn't even wear his costume very long.
So I have prayed about this insane day and hope it can all go smoothly.
Oh, and I have to get my jewelry flyers to Kinkos so I can drop them off at the salon tomorrow. That may not happen today. I may just do that in the morning.
I don't know if I can get a workout in or not. Maybe during nap.

Okay: the goal is to not eat any junk until dinner tonight and after. Then I can have candy and treats.
Later everyone!