Still in my funk. Not eating on plan. But I figured out what is going on with me. I realized this weekend that I'm really angry about some situations in my life (namely my marriage) and I don't do well with anger. I don't feel comfortable expressing it in any way, so I avoid it. Well, I just felt rotten the last few days and just didn't care about what I ate. I realized that this is angry eating and I got in touch with some issues that I need to deal with.

So here it is 9:00 on Sunday evening and I ate horribly from Friday till today. At least now I know why. I'm just not sure how to deal with things. Oh, I also got 0 exercise in. Nothing. That is so unlike me. I need to express my anger on the elliptical instead of on cookies.

But that is one of the issues that I"m pissed about. I'm not "allowed" to exercise on the weekends. I'm not allowed to do much of anything without alot of grief. I had a jewelry show today and you'd think I was leaving for a whole week. In order to exercise on the weekends, I need to get up at 6am before my kids get up. And it's hard to do that on weekends. But I may need to start doing just that.

I need to be more assertive and speak up for myself instead of stuffing things down with food. It's just so hard because everytime I try, my husband has a logical argument for his behavior. I am not very logical person, a terrible debater. I don't do well when he comes back at me with his logic. But for heaven's sake, I have a masters degree and he barely has his high school diploma. Surely I am intelligent enough to assert my needs and rights to the man who is supposed to love me.

I just have zero motivation right now. I have planned my dinner menu for the week. But not the rest. So I will plan the rest after I'm done here. I will focus on the plan and not think too much about it as. And pray that I know how to handle things in my life.

I run with my friend tomorrow night so that will be a good opportunity to get out this anger.