NIKKI8's CalorieKing blog
Friday, Nov 23 2007 - two steps back
View NIKKI8's food & exercise for this day
Husband is being a jerk again. He's being a---- word I never use. But am tempted to. My family is in town--sister, nephews, my mom. And my aunt and cousins live nearby. We have Thanksgiving traditions that we do every year when we celebrate with my side of the family. We bowl on the Friday after and go to a movie.
Well, yesterday dinner was at 3:00 at my aunt's about an hour away. My kids didn't get naps and would not sit down to dinner. They were running around and playing the way kids their age do. I didn't eat with everyone else. I watched the kids and planned to eat when my husband was done. It was irritating but you have to do that with kids this little. My husband was freaking out. Could not handle the kids acting this way. He could barely eat because he was so upset about this.
Chill out already!
After dinner he packed up the kids and took them home. I stayed with my family. Nice of him so that I could stay, but I knew this would be at a price and it is. He's very bitter that I stayed but doesn't say so. Just acts nasty. I only get to see my family a few times a year. If he can't handle the kids being wound up with no nap (I would have handled it), then that's his choice.
Well, he is working today. I am bowling with my family and bringing the kids. We are supposed to go to the movie tonight. He is giving me a hard time. I keep telling him I will ask his mom to babysit so we can all go, but he "can't make up his mind". Doesn't know if he wants to see this movie. Doesn't know if he wants to leave the kids. He says in a nasty tone of voice, "Well I know you're going to go no matter what I say. I don't have a choice." And I feel guilty that I want to do the traditions with my family. He has no good reason why we shouldn't go to the movies--he's just being a controlling jerk.
At this moment, I hate being married and hate this choice I made. I know that's a strong statement. But I'm tired of his negative hateful attitude. I'm so tired of his manipulation.
I know what you are going to say--he feels neglected when my family is in town or whatever. Believe me, I have analyzed this forever in every which way. I don't know what his problem is. I have tried to be sensitive for years. But I'm tired of it. I have tried to cater to him. I'm sick of that. It gets me nowhere.
Instead of feeling guilty, I'm going to the movies tonight with my family no matter what. If he wants to go, I will arrange a babysitter and I will be glad he has decided to come. If he chooses to stay home with the kids, that's his choice. I'm not going to stay home just because of him.
I know--I really ranted here, but I'm pretty upset and fed up.
I thought we made some progress this week in our marriage, but it looks like one step forward and two steps back.
Well, yesterday dinner was at 3:00 at my aunt's about an hour away. My kids didn't get naps and would not sit down to dinner. They were running around and playing the way kids their age do. I didn't eat with everyone else. I watched the kids and planned to eat when my husband was done. It was irritating but you have to do that with kids this little. My husband was freaking out. Could not handle the kids acting this way. He could barely eat because he was so upset about this.
Chill out already!After dinner he packed up the kids and took them home. I stayed with my family. Nice of him so that I could stay, but I knew this would be at a price and it is. He's very bitter that I stayed but doesn't say so. Just acts nasty. I only get to see my family a few times a year. If he can't handle the kids being wound up with no nap (I would have handled it), then that's his choice.
Well, he is working today. I am bowling with my family and bringing the kids. We are supposed to go to the movie tonight. He is giving me a hard time. I keep telling him I will ask his mom to babysit so we can all go, but he "can't make up his mind". Doesn't know if he wants to see this movie. Doesn't know if he wants to leave the kids. He says in a nasty tone of voice, "Well I know you're going to go no matter what I say. I don't have a choice." And I feel guilty that I want to do the traditions with my family. He has no good reason why we shouldn't go to the movies--he's just being a controlling jerk.
At this moment, I hate being married and hate this choice I made. I know that's a strong statement. But I'm tired of his negative hateful attitude. I'm so tired of his manipulation.
I know what you are going to say--he feels neglected when my family is in town or whatever. Believe me, I have analyzed this forever in every which way. I don't know what his problem is. I have tried to be sensitive for years. But I'm tired of it. I have tried to cater to him. I'm sick of that. It gets me nowhere.
Instead of feeling guilty, I'm going to the movies tonight with my family no matter what. If he wants to go, I will arrange a babysitter and I will be glad he has decided to come. If he chooses to stay home with the kids, that's his choice. I'm not going to stay home just because of him.
I know--I really ranted here, but I'm pretty upset and fed up.
I thought we made some progress this week in our marriage, but it looks like one step forward and two steps back.
8 comments so far.
8.
a decade ago
I'm so sorry that husband is being a jerk! I agree with the comments above. Take care of yourself. (((HUG)))
by PJENA
7.
a decade ago
by MOM22SONZ
6.
a decade ago
you have to do what will keep YOU sane. forget about his childish needs. you take the time with your family and do your best to shut out images of him pouting. you work too hard to be treated like this.
:love: you, Nikki!
by SFARRANT
5.
a decade ago
My take on the situation is that your husband is extremely insecure...not to mention rather immature. If you had already agreed that this year was to be Thanksgivings with your family then there is no excuse for his behavior. Sorry you had such a bad day! Hope today turns out better! Dorothy
by LOVELY2
4.
a decade ago
I sooooooo, soooooo agree with theoslady. I have told you before that he is emotionally abusive to you. This has nothing to do with him feeling neglected because your family is it town. Maybe that would be it if this were isolated behavior ... but he is controlling and ugly to you repeatedly. He is extraordinarily selfish, Nikki. I think you need to sit him down and read him what you wrote here. Tell him that you have come to the point of hating this marriage. You said before he won't consider counseling unless he thinks he's going to lose you. Well, he is at least losing you emotionally, and that's the first step. He needs to know what's at stake. And you, YOU, do not need to put up with this, my friend. Praying for you.
by JEWELRYLADEE
3.
a decade ago
I woudn't tell you what you think I would. I'd say he is being a jerk! You deserve to enjoy your family because this time with them will NOT last forever! Your kids are experiencing times to make lifelong memories and bond with their extended family - which is a true gift. I am so glad that you're planning to go tonight regardless of what he does. He needs to GROW-UP! His behavior is juvenile at best and flirting with abusiveness. A common denominator of abusive situations is to isolate the intended from their family and friends. That way they stay in control and nobody gets to see the slow, insidious weaving of a web leading to violence of some kind - whether that's emotional, verbal, psychological or physical. Anyway, I say all this because I've been there and done that and the tee-shirt wasn't worth wearing. Take care of yourself and your children.
:kiss:
by THEOSLADY
2.
a decade ago
im sorry things havent been do great. hopefully he will decide to go and you can spend some time together. hang in there =)
by KR1814
1.
a decade ago
I'm sorry Nikki.
:kiss: I hope that you have fun and that hubby comes around and decides to go too and enjoys it. What movie are you planning to see?
by CYNTHIALS