We've had a very busy, eventful day. My baby got tubes put in his ears today. My husband and I got up at 3am. I got Carter up at 5:30 so we could be to the hospital by 6. He was very patient while he was waiting for 2 hours. I wish I had a camera phone as he looked so adorable in his little hospital gown.
My husband was very nervous about this whole thing. About Carter being put under general anethstesia (no idea how to spell that). I was more calm about it. They let one parent go in while he's being put to sleep and they almost didn't let me go in because they didn't have the "class" about it while we were being preregistered. My husband almost freaked. But they let me go in after all. Carter hates being restrained in any way. I've been there when it's happened before, in the doctor's office when they've had to check his ears, clean out the wax in his ears, and other stuff. So I was ready for him to fight, but he had two fat tears run down his face that got to me a little. But he fell asleep within about 2 minutes. My husband would not have been able to handle that as well as I did.
The hardest part and most traumatic for me was when he woke up. He was so upset. He screamed and cried for a long time. He was almost inconsolable. They said it was from the anesthetic and that his ears might be a little sore. He only would calm down for a moment or two and didn't really stop crying until we were leaving.
The doctor said the fluid in his ears was so thick, it never would have drained on its own. She said he will be able to hear much better now and we will probably start seeing a difference in him in a couple of days. Probably in his speech.
We were all so exhausted. Carter slept for 4 hours when we got home. I took a nap and then gave my husband a turn at a nap.
Even though it wasn't a major procedure and was such a short surgery, I am so glad it's over. It really was more stressful than I expected it would be for me. But I know he is so much better off for it.
Okay, I think I'm done rambling about that. I need to write about it.

The other thing I wanted to write about was my husband's behavior last night. He had gone out with some friends and had a few drinks. This was all planned and we both knew he would be drinking. But I didn't expect him to be drunk or close to a drunken state like he was. He put Collin to bed as I was getting things ready for Carter's surgery. I planned to go to bed early as I knew we were getting up early. I went upstairs to tell him that and he was so nasty with me. I mean, he talked to me probably worse than he ever has. He was so mad at me for going to bed early and not coming to wake him up (he falls asleep with Collin in his bed). This was all in front of Collin, of course, and Collin actually said, "Mommy, you're making Daddy mad." I don't know if he's ever been this bad to me. He probably has, but it's been a while since it was this bad. I was so mad. I mean, steaming mad. I was having some pretty serious horrible thoughts about divorce and other such things. I was fed up. I knew he's been drinking, but that's no excuse and really, it just makes it all the worse.

I called my sister to vent; I had to get it out of my system so I could sleep. She listened and told me to set it aside for now so I could focus on Carter. It took me along time to get to sleep and I did alot of praying before I let it go. But Chris got up at 3am and so I got up too even though I hadn't planned to get up that early. I really gave it to him about the way he treated me. He was remorseful immediately and tried to explain why he behaved the way he did. I told him, whatever the reason, I didn't deserve it. he agreed. Things got better after that. Later in the car on the way to the hospital, he said he was sorry as he never actually apologized. He was much better the rest of the day.
So, good for me for continuing to stand up for myself. It's going to take a while before changes become more permanent so I have to be persistent.

Food is still awful, but I'm doing some major soul searching as I'm reading a couple of books about what is going on with my food issues and how to make changes that last. For the moment, the biggest problem is that there is still junk food in the house. And as Ashli says, just get it out of the house.
Well, I have many more thoughts and discoveries about the food issues. But I think I've written enough for tonight. Good night!