Okay, I had dedicated an hour or so to update my blog as I have alot to say and catch up on other's blogs. My 3 year old has other ideas and isn't napping today. We laid down for a little while and I was the only on to fall asleep. Oh, well. At least I got a little rest.
So he is playing with construction truck set on the floor next to me. We'll see how long that lasts and how much I can get written. I may have to finish late tonight.

Food and Exercise
Okay, let's start with what's going on in this area first. So I did 4 workouts while I was in Chi-town. Then on Friday I fell really hard and hurt my knee. It was one of those really stupid things. Everyone was in a hurry and they were late. I buckled Collin in his car seat and then went to run into the house to get him something really quick. I was cutting through the front yard where my sister still has Christmas lawn decorations up. At the last second I tried to jump over one and it tripped me instead. I can see it all in slow mo'. I took most of the impact on my upper body because I was trying to save my knees. But one knee hit the concrete. It is badly bruised on the knee cap and turning black, in fact. It has been getting a little better everyday and while it still hurts going up and down stairs, the pain is lessening each day. So I decided when we got back here on Saturday to completely rest it for a week. No exercise at all! And then I'm going to evaluate if I need to get my knee checked out by a doctor.
Well, I haven't taken that long off of exercising since Carter was born (21 months ago). So this was causing me some anxiety. But I decided that this is a great time to focus on my food. I've known that I needed to clean it up, but I think I was using exercise to attempt to compensate for poor eating (which we all know doesn't work--the whole 80/20 rule and all.) Without exercise as my crutch, I feel pushed to clean up my diet. (Could God be using this to get my attention?)
So after lots of thinking (which I had to do without blogging ) I decided on a plan and I feel determined to fit better in my clothes by the end of the month. It really comes down to the fact that I'm so disgusted that I can't fit into my clothes. I usually have to wear my elastic pants, like my yoga pants instead of my jeans and I'm just tired of it. I think I'm finally hitting "rock bottom" and I'm determined to pull myself out of this pit.
So I'm on day 3 of eating a healthy food plan and have done pretty well. I was trying to cut out my morning snack and only eat fruit for other snacks but I was getting hungry and actually feeling sick, like shaky and weak. I emailed Corinne at PNP and asked if I should still be doing the protein/carb and 6 meals even if I'm not exercising. She said definitely and to do 300 cals each main meal and 200 for snacks. So last night I plugged in my food for today and had it all planned. It feels good.
I've had some temptations that have been tough. Collin wanted to make cookies last night and I had some with him. I really want one today but I'm resisting. I just keep picturing my jeans and my motivation comes back!

Marriage issues
So when I go to Chicago and visit my family, I usually do alot of thinking, especially since I am away from Chris, I can think a little clearer. This time was really helpful with that and I didn't feel ready to come back and face the issues that I knew needed to be dealt with.
I had already figured some things out and decided on some action when on Thursday I went to my sister's salon to get some services done. She's an esthitician (no idea how to spell that) and gave me a facial. Well, I also got a reflexology treatment from a woman that my sister told me was excellent. I don't know if you know anything about reflexology (I didn't know much) but supposedly a reflexologist can tell all kinds of things about your body just by your feet. Well, she told me my body is completely drained and stressed. She said I am so tense and my energy is being drained by someone. I was amazed that she said that because that is exactly how I feel, like he is just draining me completely. Anyway, I just thought you'd find that interesting.
Well, it just helped affirm my resolve to talk to my husband about our issues when I got back. More than anytjhing I'm determined to set limits more often and just OPEN MY MOUTH. It amazed me how much I shut down and don't say anything when my husband is in a bad mood or snaps at me when I make a suggestion or does something I don't agree with. I pictured my children all grown up and having various baggage from their childhood (like we all have) and I wondered what I would wish I had done. What will I regret not doing or doing? And again, I felt determined to listen to my gut instinct when it comes to parenting (I second-guess myself because of him) and also to set limits on him.
He and I have talked (oh, what a heated discussion that was!) about some of these issues. He is going to decrease his drinking and is going to work on his moodiness. I explained how unhappy I was in our marriage and I think it really got his attention. We have more talking to do and more issues to work on, but at least it's a start. And his resolve to cut back on his drinking will have a good impact on these issues.

Oh, my, this is along entry. I don't know if you've made it this far (don't blame you if you haven't) but I think it was helpful for me to get all this out. to you all.
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Oh, thank God! I have my membership reinstated for a month. I was going crazy without CK and all of you! I will have to update more later but I wanted to let you know I'm finally here again!