NIKKI8's CalorieKing blog
Tuesday, Jan 22 2008 - Kind of Down
View NIKKI8's food & exercise for this day
I am feeling somewhat down today and am going to just write about it and see where I end up.
First, I am concerned about gluten in my diet. I do not worry about cross contamination because Collin's GI told us not to worry about it. He said the celiac community makes a big deal about it and cross contamination is very little gluten. As long as we were not sensitive and didn't have reactions then we would be fine. My own GI said to just listen to my reactions and let that be my guide. So since last March when we saw the pediatric GI, that's what I've done. We have had no problems whatsoever. I make sure there is no gluten directly in our food, but I don't worry about CC (as we call it in the "celiac community."
Anyway, lately I have been having what I think are symptoms. Gassy, bloating, but no big "D" thank goodness. Collin has not had any reactions. The big worry is that my ribs are starting to hurt again. I have not had a full fledged attack, but I probably came the closest to it the other day. That only happens when I directly eat gluten on purpose (like I did this summer when I had piece of cake at a b-day party 
). BTW, the severe rib pain is from Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction and I find a direct relation to the pain when I eat gluten (even though I was told there is no relation, I know there is.)
So I don't know what the deal is. Am I getting gluten directly in something I'm eating and don't realize it or is the CC finally affecting me? Or have I done damage to my villi because of CC that I'm now lactose intolerant? It seems related to when I eat dairy so that is one thing I'm concerned about.
If it's just me, I would be concerned, but since Collin is also celiac I'm worried. Am I making the wrong decision and it's going to damage him? I don't know. I think I'm going to monitor my symptoms awhile longer (since this just came up recently) and then I will call the GI with my concerns.
Okay, so I think I'm done with that little vent/worry session.
On to the next one:
Food
4/6 meals on track today. Not horrible but I'm over calories. I was out of egg beaters this morning and tortillas and I had planned on that for breakfast. I couldn't make my protein pancakes either, so did I eat oatmeal instead? No, I had a sugary cereal intead.
We went to Burger King for lunch as we met my husband there. I ordered the grilled chicken salad with ff ranch dressing. And it wasn't very good and the veggies in the salad were frozen. But I ate the chicken. I also had half of the kids' small fries. I don't even like their fries. Another .
Then I snacked on those stupid pretzels again tonight. I was truly hungry and munched on those. Okay, next time munch on baby carrots or air popcorn.
So I'm frustrated about that.
Okay, what did I do well today. Let's focus on the positive. I only ate half of the fries and not more than that. And I really wanted to order a bunless whopper jr. and I didn't.
There were so many moments today when I wanted to eat junk--icecream, chips, and stuff. I felt like a food demon was following me around. And I didn't give in during those moments. 
I drank only water and drank a good amount (except for some sips of Carter's sprite at BK.)
My snacks were healthy.
Standing up as a mommy
With my sister's firm prodding, I realized that I need to make some changes regarding Collin. I already was looking for ways to change his eating and deal with his sensory issues. I have been keeping a food log of what he eats and it's horrible how he eats. So I need to take action. I was waiting until he had the potty training down so there wouldn't be so many changes at one. Well, he has it down pretty well and I feel ready to make changes. But I don't know where to begin. I have ideas but I am so scared to implement them. I am so afraid to do this wrong. I want someone to walk me through this and guide me step by step about how to introduce new foods, get him to try them, and reinforce the behavior. And what foods to start with and all that.
So I called the occupational therapist that he saw this summer. She had some excellent ideas for me about how to deal with the sensory issues (they are getting worse as he is now more sensitive to smell and light than before. Insists on keeping the lights off.
) And she reccommended a book that will guide me with the introduction of foods. I just feel so incompetent and like a failure because I have allowed poor habits to take hold. I have not set limits as my instincts screamed for me to. Instead I listened to my husband and my own fears. So I am standing up on this issue. I'm still scared but for Collin's sake, I must push through my fear of making mistakes. There's more risk in doing nothing.
The other issue is sleep. My sister got onto me about this today and she made alot of sense. I must be more consistent with nap times. And I must leave the room, no matter how much he begs. I used to do this all the time, but since he got his new bed a couple months ago, I started falling asleep (sometimes while reading books!) almost immediately (stupid bed is so comfortable). I have completely spoiled him now. And now I have the difficult task of going backwards and toughening up again.
I feel like such a fool. I beat myself up about these things. I make so many mistakes as a mother already and my kids are so young. Okay, I'm being a little dramatic. But I am really hard on myself when it comes to being mother. I feel like I am drowning in guilt sometimes.
Anyway, I talked to Collin today about being a big boy now since he's almost 4 and he needs to be able to go to sleep without mommy and daddy in the room. I don't know if my husband will go along with this. He loves to fall asleep with Collin. But at least for naps and the nights I put him to bed, he will learn to fall asleep alone and will be capable. But it makes it so much harder when my husband is not on board with this. Before when I was good about leaving before he was asleep, he would beg for daddy to put him to bed. Made me feel crappy but I knew it was just because he was spoiled. But it makes bedtime so much harder for me.
Sorry this is so long and whiny. I just had alot to write about today. I actually had another issue, but I'll save that for another day as it's getting late. Good night.
First, I am concerned about gluten in my diet. I do not worry about cross contamination because Collin's GI told us not to worry about it. He said the celiac community makes a big deal about it and cross contamination is very little gluten. As long as we were not sensitive and didn't have reactions then we would be fine. My own GI said to just listen to my reactions and let that be my guide. So since last March when we saw the pediatric GI, that's what I've done. We have had no problems whatsoever. I make sure there is no gluten directly in our food, but I don't worry about CC (as we call it in the "celiac community."
Anyway, lately I have been having what I think are symptoms. Gassy, bloating, but no big "D" thank goodness. Collin has not had any reactions. The big worry is that my ribs are starting to hurt again. I have not had a full fledged attack, but I probably came the closest to it the other day. That only happens when I directly eat gluten on purpose (like I did this summer when I had piece of cake at a b-day party ). BTW, the severe rib pain is from Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction and I find a direct relation to the pain when I eat gluten (even though I was told there is no relation, I know there is.)So I don't know what the deal is. Am I getting gluten directly in something I'm eating and don't realize it or is the CC finally affecting me? Or have I done damage to my villi because of CC that I'm now lactose intolerant? It seems related to when I eat dairy so that is one thing I'm concerned about.
If it's just me, I would be concerned, but since Collin is also celiac I'm worried. Am I making the wrong decision and it's going to damage him? I don't know. I think I'm going to monitor my symptoms awhile longer (since this just came up recently) and then I will call the GI with my concerns.
Okay, so I think I'm done with that little vent/worry session.
On to the next one:
Food
4/6 meals on track today. Not horrible but I'm over calories. I was out of egg beaters this morning and tortillas and I had planned on that for breakfast. I couldn't make my protein pancakes either, so did I eat oatmeal instead? No, I had a sugary cereal intead.
We went to Burger King for lunch as we met my husband there. I ordered the grilled chicken salad with ff ranch dressing. And it wasn't very good and the veggies in the salad were frozen. But I ate the chicken. I also had half of the kids' small fries. I don't even like their fries. Another
.Then I snacked on those stupid pretzels again tonight. I was truly hungry and munched on those. Okay, next time munch on baby carrots or air popcorn.
So I'm frustrated about that.
Okay, what did I do well today. Let's focus on the positive. I only ate half of the fries and not more than that. And I really wanted to order a bunless whopper jr. and I didn't.
There were so many moments today when I wanted to eat junk--icecream, chips, and stuff. I felt like a food demon was following me around. And I didn't give in during those moments. I drank only water and drank a good amount (except for some sips of Carter's sprite at BK.)My snacks were healthy.
Standing up as a mommy
With my sister's firm prodding, I realized that I need to make some changes regarding Collin. I already was looking for ways to change his eating and deal with his sensory issues. I have been keeping a food log of what he eats and it's horrible how he eats. So I need to take action. I was waiting until he had the potty training down so there wouldn't be so many changes at one. Well, he has it down pretty well and I feel ready to make changes. But I don't know where to begin. I have ideas but I am so scared to implement them. I am so afraid to do this wrong. I want someone to walk me through this and guide me step by step about how to introduce new foods, get him to try them, and reinforce the behavior. And what foods to start with and all that.
So I called the occupational therapist that he saw this summer. She had some excellent ideas for me about how to deal with the sensory issues (they are getting worse as he is now more sensitive to smell and light than before. Insists on keeping the lights off.
) And she reccommended a book that will guide me with the introduction of foods. I just feel so incompetent and like a failure because I have allowed poor habits to take hold. I have not set limits as my instincts screamed for me to. Instead I listened to my husband and my own fears. So I am standing up on this issue. I'm still scared but for Collin's sake, I must push through my fear of making mistakes. There's more risk in doing nothing.The other issue is sleep. My sister got onto me about this today and she made alot of sense. I must be more consistent with nap times. And I must leave the room, no matter how much he begs. I used to do this all the time, but since he got his new bed a couple months ago, I started falling asleep (sometimes while reading books!) almost immediately (stupid bed is so comfortable). I have completely spoiled him now. And now I have the difficult task of going backwards and toughening up again.
I feel like such a fool. I beat myself up about these things. I make so many mistakes as a mother already and my kids are so young. Okay, I'm being a little dramatic. But I am really hard on myself when it comes to being mother. I feel like I am drowning in guilt sometimes.
Anyway, I talked to Collin today about being a big boy now since he's almost 4 and he needs to be able to go to sleep without mommy and daddy in the room. I don't know if my husband will go along with this. He loves to fall asleep with Collin. But at least for naps and the nights I put him to bed, he will learn to fall asleep alone and will be capable. But it makes it so much harder when my husband is not on board with this. Before when I was good about leaving before he was asleep, he would beg for daddy to put him to bed. Made me feel crappy but I knew it was just because he was spoiled. But it makes bedtime so much harder for me.
Sorry this is so long and whiny. I just had alot to write about today. I actually had another issue, but I'll save that for another day as it's getting late. Good night.
4 comments so far.
4.
a decade ago
CC might be a problem. I try to avoid it as much as possible. Have you checked labels lately? Sometimes the formulas change without warning. I've read it takes anywhere from 8-11 times of introducing a new food to get a child to eat it. Does Celiac affect his sensory issues?
by HOCKEYFAN7
3.
a decade ago
You are not a failure! We all do what we need to do to get sleep. Maybe a reward system will work with Collin? If he lays in his bed for 15 minutes alone and Mommy comes back to check on him, then 20 minutes....and eventualyl he will fall asleep. I have been where you are, and like my mother said to me, when they are 16 they are not going to be sleeping in your bed...this too shall pass...right?
by NMA5632
2.
a decade ago
Do NOT call yourself a fool or a failure!
:nono5: We moms are too hard on ourselves. Every last one of us has made mistakes that we've had to reverse. I let my son sleep with us for the first few months. We had to endure several long painful nights to get him to sleep in his bed. I got into the habit of letting the kids have a chewy bar before school where they are served breakfast. I had to break them of that habit. We ALL do stuff that we know is a bad habit because it's easy at the time. We ALL then have to endure the pain of breaking that habit. You know you need to make naps more consistent. You'll do it. Don't beat yourself up for the past. You know you need to work on Collin's diet. You'll do that. Again, don't beat yourself up. Calling the OT was a good first step. It won't be fun, I'm sure, but you'll all be better for it when it's done. (((HUG)))
by PJENA
1.
a decade ago
Boy, friend, you do have a lot on your mind. Mommying is so hard at times, isn't it? It sounds like you worked through some thoughts just writing it out and hopefully some things are clearer in your mind. God will show you the way on all these issue, I know He will. You have to believe that your love for your boys covers many of the little mistakes you think you may have (but probably haven't) made along the way. God's grace makes up for the places we fall short!
by JEWELRYLADEE