I've been busy and haven't had a chance to check in here lately. I have had a few minutes to get on and read/comment on blogs here and there. But not enough to really write in my own blog. I've just been really tired the last few days.

Food
Well, the weekend was terrible, but the last 2 days have been great. I got back on track yesterday and have stayed that way. Even when we went to Applebees for a business meeting last night, I did not have any chips or appetizers that everyone else were eating.
The thing is, weekends are really hard for me with food. I want so much to just lighten up on the diet and eat whatever. But that can't happen. I really went a little crazy last weekend. So I need to come up with a plan for how to deal with weekends. I usually plan out my food ahead of time, but things happen and I get off track. Plans change or whatever. Excuses, I know. So I need to get very focused on what I want to do and stick to it no matter what. It is too hard to get back on plan on Mondays and I ruin all my progress when I do that.

Today was hard with food. I wanted so much to just eat whatever I wanted, but I stuck to my plan. I knew the momentary pleasure would produce long term misery/guilt/self hatred. So that I'm learning to think ahead.
But do you ever just feel sorry for yourself that you can't eat whatever you want whenever you want it? That's how I felt today. The thing is, I don't really feel like that with gluten foods. I have accepted that I can't eat those and have made peace with it. I would like to make the same kind of peace with (gluten free) junk food. That's my ultimate goal.

Exercise
Strength Training-244 cals. I did the lower body workout from the running schedule on PNP. I really liked it but I know I will be so sore tomorrow. I will probably barely be able to walk for 2 days. The squat shuffles were real killers.
Elliptical, 20 mins. 216 cals.
Yesterday I did spin class and burned over 400 cals (don't remember the exact amount). It felt so good to do spin class again. I haven't done it since before Christmas. Actually, same with the strength training.

Daily Joy
I really didn't do anything for myself today except workout. And I actually felt pretty down today. I guess that explains why I wanted to eat so badly. I just feel like I can't get ahead or stay on top of my to do list no matter what I do. I'm always drowning in things that need to be done. I hate it and I was so frustrated by it today. It really got to me. I am trying to manage my time better so I can be more efficient, and it helps a little but that is what is so frustrating. No matter what I do, my house still looks a mess. I guess this is the time I really need to do something just for myself. So I can recharge and be able to keep going.

Daily Gratitude
I had several moments throughout the day when I enjoyed my children's smiles and laughter. They are very sweet and Collin has been in a sweet mood for a few days. Could be because he's been taking naps!

Other
I think I figured out my stomach issue and what was causing the problem. I stopped taking my vitamins and have been much better since. So I think that was the culprit. Looks like I need to go to the health food store and get some gluten free vitamins. I'm not sure what vitamins Walmart sells that would be GF. Anyway, it's a relief to have figured it out.

I think one reason I'm in a little funk is because my husband has had a few drinks the last 2 nights. The deal was he planned to not drink on weeknights. He seems to be making excuses why he should have a drink. And he hasn't had as much as he was before, but still. The thing is, I know what he's going through because I have done it with food. It's easy to slip and make excuses why you should turn to your drug of choice. The funny thing is that he bragged to me so arrogantly that he would be able to stop cold turkey no problem and never think twice about it. Just shows me how much in denial he is about his drinking. It's scary to realize that. I need to say something to him, but I know he will rationalize his behavior. The thing with me and food is I know what is going on, why I slip up, and I know that I turn to food in addiction. And I am working like crazy to deal with my issues. But he is in denial about his. It just really sucks.
Okay, I guess that's all for now.