I am so tired tonight, but I am updating my blog for you, my dear friends, because I have not been very good at keeping up with it this week. Don't you feel special?
I have been really busy, but not doing important things. Mostly I have been not managing my time well and it all slips away too quickly. Yesterday and today I ran errands with the kids and took so long that Carter had his nap in the car both days. Only 20 mins yesterday and about an hour today. This child is used to 2-21/2 hour naps.
Now normally I would just put him to bed earlier, but we had plans to go to the circus tonight and it didn't start until 7:30, which is his bedtime! While he loved the circus, he was a zombie through the second half. He just laid back on my chest or Chris' and watched everything. Collin was so into the whole experience. He and Chris even rode an elephant! Which was way too much money! And we bought them those stupid light-up things that are extremely overpriced. I wanted one when I went to the circus as a kid and my mom wouldn't buy one. So I had to buy my kids one. Dumb, I know. But we got our tickets for free through Chris' uncle so that helped.

Exercise
I am so sore today. I went to bootcamp class yesterday and worked my butt off (literally). One thing that was cool--we didn't use any equipment. And my whole body is feeling what an intense strength workout it was. We did a ton of pushups. I did them slowly, carefully and my arm felt okay. Even today it doesn't feel bad. Not at all like it did when I went swimming a couple weeks ago. That caused lots of pain.
I also ran today, but I only did 2 miles. I was short on time. I noticed that I'm getting slower. I was at about a 10 min mile. But Tues and today, it was more like 11 or closer to 11 1/2. Hmm. Well, I enjoyed it and felt really good afterwards.
I got a new yoga dvd from the library. So I'm hoping to be able to do that tomorrow and stretch out these sore muscles.

Numb emotions
Ever since we had that week that we were sick (was that just last week? it feels like longer), I have felt so numb emotionally. I'm not sure I can even explain it. Perhaps apathetic is a better word.
I feel this way in my spiritual life, like I just can't make the connection to God that I usually do. This bothers me on a mental level, but on an emotional level, I just don't feel anything.
I feel this way about food too. I just don't care much right now. But not the "I give up" kind of not caring. It just isn't bothering me. The good thing about that is I'm not binging really. But the bad thing is I'm not eating healthy either. I made cookies this week and I've had Easter candy. I don't like this, but once again, apathetic.
What is my deal? I hope I come out of this soon because it's kind of worrying me. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I got thrown off track and routine when we were all sick. I usually get up early before the kids to have prayer time and Bible reading. It centers me and helps me focus before the day gets started. For one reason or another, I haven't gotten back in that habit. And when I have done it, I felt that empty numbness again.
Okay, so my motto this week is: Do It Anyway. Get up early and have my prayer time, even if I feel empty or numb. Make my food plan and follow it anyway, even if I don't feel like it (do I ever?).
Fake it till you make it, right?

Some good news
My husband and I have had a few good times recently. Collin has been falling asleep almost immediately or during books. So Chris has been up later and we've been talking more. And um, other stuff Thank goodness. I told him last night I feel like we have more of a real marriage again. I was reading a book, he was working on some artistic stuff. And we were just talking alot. Not about anything serious, just what's going on in our lives and our plans for the future and all. It was so nice to be able to just talk about what I've been thinking and all. So that has been a blessing.

I feel like I have more to say, but I am getting to that point where I can't think straight. Goodnight.