I felt better today. My throat was still sore, but no fever or body aches, which i think is the worst part. I was able to do some cleaning and I took a nap (Collin laid down and rested but never went to sleep.)
My husband and I had a "heated discussion" when he called me on his lunch. He is mad about how I handled a situation with his family. He is right that I didn't handle it entirely the way I should have. But it is a very delicate situation and it was hard to make decisions in an emotionally charged moment. It has to do with Collin's b-day party this weekend. I should have talked to Chris before I answered, but I was put on the spot. It's over with now and I think Chris understands, but it upset me that he got mad at me. That is always hard.
He was okay when he got home tonight and things seemed mostly okay. But he was still in that weird mood.
Then I got really upset when I went to put Collin to bed. I just got really crabby and I think part of it was because I was hungry. I wasn't that hungry at dinner and it caught up with me at bedtime.
But I was upset because it was 9:30 when we headed upstairs for bed. He threw a huge fit that I was putting him to bed instead of daddy. He was screaming and we were worried he would wake up Carter.
But I was most annoyed that bedtime takes so long and then I have to stay there until he goes to sleep. I was just getting more and more pissed the longer I stayed there. He was just all wound up and was playing, making hand puppet shadows on the wall, playing with his music box, talking. All that is fine, but I wanted to be downstairs doing other things. I wanted to talk to my husband, get on the computer, do dishes, and stuff like that. But, no, I have to sit here until he falls asleep because no matter how many times I have talked to my husband about this. I can talk until I'm blue in the face and it doesn't matter. He refused to change the way we handle bedtime.
Collin is about to turn 4. I feel like he needs to learn to go to sleep on his own, for heavens sakes. And have some time to ourselves. But Chris insists Collin will outgrow this soon. Yeah, right.
I used to leave before he was asleep when it was my turn to put him to bed. And he was fine with it when I left, but whenever it was my turn to put him to bed, he would throw a huge fit and cling to daddy (who loved it and egged it on in my opinion). And my friend told me I wasn't doing any good by not being consistent with my husband. Only causing more difficulty for myself.
So I started just staying until he was asleep. And the fits stopped mostly. He didn't object when I put him to bed. I don't know what his deal was tonight.
But I'm so tired of this. And it just goes so much against what I believe is in this child's best interest. And I feel like I can't win. Like I have no power here. And that is most frustrating of all.

On another subject ( ) I have my appointment with the counselor tomorrow. I have had to cancel the last 2 due to snow and illness. So I am determined to make this no matter what.
I have been thinking about what i want to talk about and there's just too much to cover, of course. But I think I really want to talk about food and where I am at with that. We'll see how that goes.

Okay, done with my rants for today.