NIKKI8's CalorieKing blog
Sunday, Apr 27 2008 - horrible cravings!
View NIKKI8's food & exercise for this day
Okay, I've been doing alot of thinking today and I think I've come up with some ideas for a plan for me. You can tell me what you think.
I saw one of those magazine covers at the store (I think yesterday) that said, "Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks" or something like that.
I love those kinds of articles because the plan promises results quick. If you follow the plan, which is usually pretty sound, but I've never followed through. I didn't buy the magazine as I know what it will say. I've bought enough of them in the past to know they're all pretty much the same and really, I know what to do, I just need to do it.
But it got me thinking about where I'm at right now and what motivates me and will motivate me.
I think I need a time line and a set goal.
I think I need to see results, to have some success to get me through this "I can't do this" slump I'm in.
But I don't think I should do this with pounds. The scale makes me crazy and as I thought about this, I thought, What do I really want at the end of 4 weeks anyway?
-to be healthy
-to make healthy food choices
-to be at peace with food (BIG ONE)
-to fit into my pants better
I don't need a scale to tell me if I've done those things.
How am I going to achieve these goals?
-plan my meals for the week (general outline)
-plan each day's meals the night before
-continue my exercise schedule
-avoid chips and cereal
I've come to some important conclusions about the chips and cereal. I know what my counselor means about allowing myself small portions so I don't go crazy and binge, but you know what? I just want it out of the house. I'm tired of it tempting me. If it's not here, I really don't miss it.
Which brings me to conclusion number 2: I think I'm ready to stop giving so much junk food to my kids. I really allowed them to have junk around so much because I feel bad about them having to eat gluten free. But you know what? Collin has got to start eating better. Today he ate better than he ever has because I desperately need to go grocery shopping and we are out of all his usual foods.
Okay, girls. Here's where I need your help.
My biggest problem is my perfectionism. When I mess up and eat off plan, I go into "I'm such a failure, I can't do this mode."
I will mess up. It's inevitable because I'm human. The most important thing is to get back on the horse and get back on plan! I've seen so many successful "losers" on here do just fine because when they've eaten too much or eaten something they "shouldn't" they move on and get back to the healthy stuff. This is what I need to do.
So your job, my friends, is to remind me of this. To not beat myself up or give up.
Of course, I will do my best to be forgiving of myself also. But I will need support.
So the plan is: 4 weeks of healthy eating; staying on my plan.
I think that is a good amount of time. Short enough to stay focused and see the end of the tunnel and long enough to see a little bit of results. Maybe my pants will fit a little bit better.
I just get overwhelmed without a goal date, I think. Like it's never going to happen. And 12 weeks always seems like so far away.
So April 28-May 25.
Now, (yes, there's more) a major part of my struggle is emotional eating. I've been listening to this awesome podcast about weight loss. She talks about how there is a goal to your eating. (I think Dr. Phil says the same thing, but it sunk in better this time.)
What are you trying to give yourself by eating? Mine is almost always comfort or peace. So how am I going to get that without using food as my "drug"?
She talks about how you can't stop one behavior that was filling a need without finding a way to fill that need in a different way. So this is an area I need to work on. I will be thinking about ideas adn talking about them here.
Okay, I'm off to make my food plan and grocery list before I fall asleep.
Thank you all for your support. It means so much to me.
------------------------
Oh my gosh, I just want to eat everything in sight. I don't know what is up with me. Yesterday I wanted carbs, carbs, carbs. Right now I'm craving sugar really bad. Usually means I'm dehydrated. I am PMSing and I wonder if that's part of it, but my cravings aren't usually so overwhelming like this.
I ate tons of Kix cereal yesterday but not much of anything else. By dinner I was dizzy and weak from lack of protein. I made beef stew for dinner and felt better soon after.
But obviously I have got to get it together and I'm not even sure how to do that right now. I feel out of control. Once again like I cant do this. I'm hitting that wall again.
Counselor said it's this way because I tell myself that. So this morning I've been trying to say, I can do this. I can make healthy choices. But it's half hearted because I'm so discouraged.
Fake it till you make it, I guess.
Okay I need to get everyone ready for church. I'll check in later.
I saw one of those magazine covers at the store (I think yesterday) that said, "Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks" or something like that.
I love those kinds of articles because the plan promises results quick. If you follow the plan, which is usually pretty sound, but I've never followed through. I didn't buy the magazine as I know what it will say. I've bought enough of them in the past to know they're all pretty much the same and really, I know what to do, I just need to do it.
But it got me thinking about where I'm at right now and what motivates me and will motivate me.
I think I need a time line and a set goal.
I think I need to see results, to have some success to get me through this "I can't do this" slump I'm in.
But I don't think I should do this with pounds. The scale makes me crazy and as I thought about this, I thought, What do I really want at the end of 4 weeks anyway?
-to be healthy
-to make healthy food choices
-to be at peace with food (BIG ONE)
-to fit into my pants better
I don't need a scale to tell me if I've done those things.
How am I going to achieve these goals?
-plan my meals for the week (general outline)
-plan each day's meals the night before
-continue my exercise schedule
-avoid chips and cereal
I've come to some important conclusions about the chips and cereal. I know what my counselor means about allowing myself small portions so I don't go crazy and binge, but you know what? I just want it out of the house. I'm tired of it tempting me. If it's not here, I really don't miss it.
Which brings me to conclusion number 2: I think I'm ready to stop giving so much junk food to my kids. I really allowed them to have junk around so much because I feel bad about them having to eat gluten free. But you know what? Collin has got to start eating better. Today he ate better than he ever has because I desperately need to go grocery shopping and we are out of all his usual foods.
Okay, girls. Here's where I need your help.
My biggest problem is my perfectionism. When I mess up and eat off plan, I go into "I'm such a failure, I can't do this mode."
I will mess up. It's inevitable because I'm human. The most important thing is to get back on the horse and get back on plan! I've seen so many successful "losers" on here do just fine because when they've eaten too much or eaten something they "shouldn't" they move on and get back to the healthy stuff. This is what I need to do.
So your job, my friends, is to remind me of this. To not beat myself up or give up.
Of course, I will do my best to be forgiving of myself also. But I will need support.
So the plan is: 4 weeks of healthy eating; staying on my plan.
I think that is a good amount of time. Short enough to stay focused and see the end of the tunnel and long enough to see a little bit of results. Maybe my pants will fit a little bit better.
I just get overwhelmed without a goal date, I think. Like it's never going to happen. And 12 weeks always seems like so far away.
So April 28-May 25.
Now, (yes, there's more) a major part of my struggle is emotional eating. I've been listening to this awesome podcast about weight loss. She talks about how there is a goal to your eating. (I think Dr. Phil says the same thing, but it sunk in better this time.)
What are you trying to give yourself by eating? Mine is almost always comfort or peace. So how am I going to get that without using food as my "drug"?
She talks about how you can't stop one behavior that was filling a need without finding a way to fill that need in a different way. So this is an area I need to work on. I will be thinking about ideas adn talking about them here.
Okay, I'm off to make my food plan and grocery list before I fall asleep.
Thank you all for your support. It means so much to me. ------------------------
Oh my gosh, I just want to eat everything in sight. I don't know what is up with me. Yesterday I wanted carbs, carbs, carbs. Right now I'm craving sugar really bad. Usually means I'm dehydrated. I am PMSing and I wonder if that's part of it, but my cravings aren't usually so overwhelming like this.
I ate tons of Kix cereal yesterday but not much of anything else. By dinner I was dizzy and weak from lack of protein. I made beef stew for dinner and felt better soon after.
But obviously I have got to get it together and I'm not even sure how to do that right now. I feel out of control. Once again like I cant do this. I'm hitting that wall again.
Counselor said it's this way because I tell myself that. So this morning I've been trying to say, I can do this. I can make healthy choices. But it's half hearted because I'm so discouraged.
Fake it till you make it, I guess.
Okay I need to get everyone ready for church. I'll check in later.
9 comments so far.
9.
a decade ago
I think the forgiveness part is trial and error and learning. I have just had to say to myself, yes, I screwed up, but... the but is the important part. Change your inner dialogue. That is what I am trying to do and learn about.
:kiss: Great entry. You can do this! 
:y:
by MOM22SONZ
8.
a decade ago
Nikki, that sounds like a great plan. And you are right -- you don't want your kids to grow up living on junk food. Even though they have Celiac, they still need to eat healthy. Fruits, veggies, lean proteins, and there are enough GF carbs that are healthier for them. You don't want them to end up with a weight problem when they are adults. We are working on making our diets healthier so when Daniel is old enough for solid food, he's eating healthy ones.
by HOCKEYFAN7
7.
a decade ago
Sounds like a great plan, Nikki. We are here for you!
:kiss: Btw I made the Turkey Meatballs from Tosca's book, they are excellent. I will probably cut back on the oat bran next time because they seemed a bit firm, though.
by CYNTHIALS
6.
a decade ago
Nikki - the 2nd half of your entry sounds so great! You can do this. I think when it clicked for me to "move on" when bad food happened was when I started thinking that of what I would tell other people in my situation. The important thing is to keep trying and to realize that you are worth the effort.
:kiss:
by NMA5632
5.
a decade ago
I am willing and happy to take on the job of reminding you to be forgiving to yourself, to see the big picture, to live in the moment (not in yesterday), and to get back on that horse! I think you have some really well thought out conclusions here and some areas that you will develop more by continuing to blog entries like this one (like what habit will you adopt to replace eating in times when you seek comfort and peace). I think 4 weeks is a good length of time. I think planning your meals roughly for the week and then specifically for the day is excellent. And, I agree, right now, you just can't have the cereal and the chips in the house. If you have to have cereal, I suggest single packet instant oatmeals (way less likely to open bag after bag of those and eat those raw) because they have a way lower binge risk I think. Your kids eating will improve which will be the best thing for them and they'll thank you later. I think what you've thought through here is clear and very smart. Keep bloggin; I'll keep supportin'!
by LAURAGLAURA
4.
a decade ago
One thing I find is that I start my day off with all protein, veggies and some fat -- no carbs. If I do that, then I don't want carbs as much and I'm really full for hours. I'll scramble a couple of eggs with all kinds of diced veggies in a small bit of butter and have a couple of slices of bacon with it and that does the trick.
by HOCKEYFAN7
3.
a decade ago
check out this site: www.molassesbakery.com - she's from our area but ships nationwide -- lots of treats for celiac sufferers!!
:love:
by SFARRANT
2.
a decade ago
Fight through this and you will feel so victorious and proud when this is over. Then next time, you will know that you can! YOU CAN DO IT!
by JEWELRYLADEE
1.
a decade ago
HI, Nikki. I think I know exactly what you're feeling. Out of control and doomed to eat everything in sight. I have two suggestions. I suggest either a) deciding to eat a lot. Get a LOT of stuff out that you want to eat, put it on plates and in bows, spread it out on the table in front of you and eat it. Eat it like you're not ashamed to eat it. If someone looks at you weirdly, just shrug and say, "I feel like eating a lot right now." Geene Roth, who has a column in prevention magazine, and who writes stuff (from exeprience) about binging ... and writes it really well... says to do this. She is has overcome her food addiction and now tells others how to do the same. Anyway, my second suggestion would be to go somewhere where you're stuck and can't eat (go to a friend's house - can't raid her regrigerator w/o permission), go to the movies (surely 1 thing of candy is better than going crazy at home), go get a manicure/petticure. Go to a restaurant and order something (surely eating one plate of something no matter what it is) will be better than eating a bunch of stuff you don't actually want. anyway, I hope church is good right now - i'll check back in on ya later.
by LAURAGLAURA