I've made a difficult fitness decision today. Collin's last day of school is tomorrow. I've been thinking about this summer alot and what I want to do. And, especially since I am working a little in the fall, I just want to be home with my kids. I want to go swimming, play in the back yard, go to the park, and stuff like that.
I was planning on continuing my bootcamp class which is on Mondays and Fridays. And then I'd really like to put the boys in a gymnastics class at the Y on Wednesdays. In addition to all this, I need to continue my tri-training (really a duathlon for me) of spinning/biking and running.
That is just too much running around and busyness for this summer. If I want to really enjoy being home with the kids, something has to go.
So I decided I need to give up my bootcamp class. I am really sad about this as I love this class. It's challenging, fun, offers alot of variety and helps me be consistent with strength training. Strength training is my least favorite workout so this pushed me and kept me doing it. I'm so social that it really helps me to workout with other people.

But my kids come first. This is really important to me to savor this time with them while they are so young still. I don't want to look back and regret that I was so busy that I didn't spend enough time with my boys.
I still have a few more weeks of this session that I plan on doing, but will probably quit in June. I feel peace about this decision even though I'm sad. But now I need to figure out if I'm going to strength train on my own or if I'm going to just focus on my race training.

Well, I told my husband all this tonight. He's been saying for awhile that I'm too busy, I make exercise too much of a priority and stuff and so I knew he would be very supportive of this decision. His response bothered me. He had this cocky, I-told-you-so type of attitude and then told me that he things I am being unrealistic and basically selfish (he didn't use that word but described it that way) to want to do a triathlon. He said there are many things he wants to do and can't and that I shouldn't expect that I can do this while I have such young children.

This really hurt me and is making me question my goals. I guess it made me feel like I'm not a good mom if I want to train for a tri.
I have a duathlon on Sunday that I'm really excited about. It's a 1 mile run-11 mile bike-1 mile run. I've never done anything like this and I'm really looking forward to the challenge. It's at 2:00 in the afternon when Carter will be taking a nap. When I told my husband about this, he would say, "We'll see what plans we have."
Uh, no we won't. These are the plans we have. There is nothing that should prevent me from being able to do this. He can handle watching the kids for a couple of hours on a Sunday when there are no car show events that he is missing.
I feel like, Come on, I don't ask for all that much. I really like having this fitness goal. I hate to think I'm being selfish by pursuing this. My ultimate goal was to train next year after my arm healed for swimming so that I could do all 3 events in Aug of 09. That may not be doable since that would involve alot of training. I am a very poor swimmer. I am a good biker and runner. Maybe until my kids are older I should leave it at that. But I would at least like to continue to do multisports.
Man, I hate questioning and doubting myself so much.

I did a training ride just around my neighborhood today to get the feel of my bike again. My friend (with kids the same ages as mine) watched the boys for me. Well, about 10 mins into my ride, it starts pouring rain. I was so disappointed but not surprised. I was trying to beat the rain.
I came in soaked and took a shower. Well, after my shower, I look out the window and the sun is shining-no more rain or dark clouds even. So I dried my hair and got back on my bike. I did another 3 1/2 miles for a total of 5 miles.
It felt great to get out on it again. I did some hills and reminded myself of the techniques I need for outdoor biking. And boy, did my quads feel it! Good workout.

Food is still not great. Really, I've just not been worrying about it. But I want to start preplanning again because that is really good for me. I think I got discouraged because I wasn't following my plans. But that's okay, I need to plan anyway and keep trying.

I am so behind on blogs, I will probably not get caught up! I will try to read some tomorrow.