Well, it looks like I have 2 broken toes. I'm not completely sure, but I can barely walk on my right foot and it hurts to bend my toes. The boys were playing in the new shed and I was standing on the ground. Collin picked up a floor jack and was obviously too heavy for him to pick up. He immediately dropped it on my foot--probably about a foot drop from the shed floor to the ground where I was standing. It's my two little toes--the fourth one is turning black.
I just got off the phone with the doctors office. They said there's nothing they can do (I figured as much) and that I would just have to stay off it and keep it elevated for several weeks.

I seriously want to cry. I was getting so excited about my training. I was thinking of hiring a babysitter once a week so I could do some outside bike training. Who knows, maybe I can still bike. I'll have to see how I feel. I think today is the worst since it's still swollen.
Nothing worse for an active person than an injury to halt training.
So I may be whining about this here more.
And I think I'll call the personal trainer from my bootcamp class and ask her suggestions on exercises I can do while this heals.

Yesterday I had my counseling appointment. Before the whole toe incident. I told her about the duathlon and Chris' reaction and what a jerk he's been. She said we're dealing with a whole lot of issues here. Alcoholism, lack of desire to show interest in my activities, and he doesn't want me to "be a separate individual from the family" (her words).
She said as I persue my fitness goals and do challenges like the duathlon, I'm developing myself as a person outside of my family and my identity as a mom. She said that is so important. And he doesn't like that.
She encouraged me to keep doing what I'm doing. Keep standing up for myself, keep doing these kinds of activities. And I told her about my "dream" of having a babysitter two hours a week so I could bike train outside. She said I should definitely do that and coached me in what to say to my husband when he tries (and he will) to keep me from doing these things.

So after the kids were in bed, my husband and I talked. I wanted him to tell me what his problem is, why he's mad at me and all that. He was so crabby with the kids yesterday too. He hates when they bicker and just couldn't handle it.
It took a while, but he finally told me he was mad I went to the duathlon on Sunday, but that he didn't expect me to not go just because of what was going on. He said it's his problem and that he'd get over it. He knows he's wrong. He said he didn't understand why I like racing and doing these things. When I started describing my race and what my experience was like, how I'm not doing this for competition at all, but only for personal challenge. He softened and I think he understood a little more. The anger seemed to drain out of him and he hugged me.
:sigh: he's got a long way to go. I don't know. Hopefully there won't be the constant tension that there was the last few days.
Okay, I have a little boy who won't stop wiggling on my lap. I can barely type. Later.