NIKKI8's CalorieKing blog
Saturday, May 31 2008 - upset
View NIKKI8's food & exercise for this day
I am supposed to be watching a movie and scrapbooking right now, but I'm upset and wanted to write it out a little.
You know how I was planning on talking to my husband about getting a babysitter so I could bike train outside once a week? Well, I've been so nervous about talking to him about it. I know how he'll be. I've been praying about it consistently.
Well, he was in a good mood tonight. We were getting along. So I brought it up before he went to bed. I didn't go into detail. I told him there was something I wanted to get a babysitter for that I wanted to talk to him about. He immediately put a wall up. I told him it seems like he gets resentful when I go to do things since he's working so hard at 2 jobs.
He said, yes, he does, because I act like "it's party time" and that it's so much easier to go do whatever I want.
I reminded him that I've cleared my schedule for the summer and have given up activities and I just want to do this one thing. He said we'd talk about it in the morning, but that it's so much easier for me to get away than for him.
I reminded him that my job is 24 hours a day and that I need a break sometimes. I said (as I've said before) that I would fully support him taking some time away (as long as it doesn't involve alcohol) and he said he plans on it.
That was how it ended. And I just feel so hurt. Party time?! What the heck is that? That's what full time mothering is to him? I reminded him how hard it is for him to watch the kids for 2 hours so imagine how i need to get away now and then.
The only thing I need him to agree to is the babysitter. If he doesn't agree to that, I will find someone else to watch the kids and I WILL DO THIS. I can probably ask my friend to do it as she's training with me for the triathlon. It will just be so much more convenient to have a babysitter come here.
I called my counselor the other day to get her advice on how to talk to him about this. I wanted coaching like she's done in the past. But she went into labor and had her baby the other day. So I wont' be able to talk to her for a month. I have an appt in July.
So you guys are my counselors for now.
Okay, I'd better get to that movie before it's too late. I'll update you when we finish this conversation.
You know how I was planning on talking to my husband about getting a babysitter so I could bike train outside once a week? Well, I've been so nervous about talking to him about it. I know how he'll be. I've been praying about it consistently.
Well, he was in a good mood tonight. We were getting along. So I brought it up before he went to bed. I didn't go into detail. I told him there was something I wanted to get a babysitter for that I wanted to talk to him about. He immediately put a wall up. I told him it seems like he gets resentful when I go to do things since he's working so hard at 2 jobs.
He said, yes, he does, because I act like "it's party time" and that it's so much easier to go do whatever I want.
I reminded him that I've cleared my schedule for the summer and have given up activities and I just want to do this one thing. He said we'd talk about it in the morning, but that it's so much easier for me to get away than for him.I reminded him that my job is 24 hours a day and that I need a break sometimes. I said (as I've said before) that I would fully support him taking some time away (as long as it doesn't involve alcohol) and he said he plans on it.
That was how it ended. And I just feel so hurt. Party time?! What the heck is that? That's what full time mothering is to him? I reminded him how hard it is for him to watch the kids for 2 hours so imagine how i need to get away now and then.
The only thing I need him to agree to is the babysitter. If he doesn't agree to that, I will find someone else to watch the kids and I WILL DO THIS. I can probably ask my friend to do it as she's training with me for the triathlon. It will just be so much more convenient to have a babysitter come here.
I called my counselor the other day to get her advice on how to talk to him about this. I wanted coaching like she's done in the past. But she went into labor and had her baby the other day. So I wont' be able to talk to her for a month. I have an appt in July.
So you guys are my counselors for now.
Okay, I'd better get to that movie before it's too late. I'll update you when we finish this conversation.
7 comments so far.
7.
a decade ago
It sounds like we both need to be more consistent about getting on CK. Just a little time reading and writing really does help me be more accountable to myself. I'm sorry to hear that Chris is still being so unsupportive. He needs to see you guys as partners. As a team. You each have jobs and you each get rewards. Just because your job doesn't involve a paycheck, doesn't make it any less important to the family. Continue to stick up for yourself and find ways to go after your dreams and goals, too. I'm glad your toes are better!!!!
by PJENA
6.
a decade ago
Wow it sounds like he doesn't grasp how hard the SAHM job is. Or he resents the fact that you are not working outside the home? I dunno. He is a tough cookie. Sorry, Nikki.
by CYNTHIALS
5.
a decade ago
Ugh. It is so frustrating that he KNOWS watching the kids is hard - he can't handle it for any length of time ... yet then he thinks he's the only one working?!
:huh: I get why you're frustrated. But why do you need his permission on this? He doesn't clear with you decisions he's making at his jobs, right? Well raising the kids is your job, and if doing that job well means having support for part of your day (once a week!) so you can be healthy, I say do it! 
:love:
by SFARRANT
4.
a decade ago
Ugh, Nikki, I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel - I feel frustrated on your behalf! I'm glad you are determined to do this, despite what Chris ends up saying. You are valuable and worthy of 1 day a week to have some time to yourself. No once can strip you of that value or worth.
by LAURAGLAURA
3.
a decade ago
I forgot to answer you about my calories, too. Yes, it is just plain 1200 not net, I am burning somewhere between 800-900 a day, but I think the reason why it is managable is because I am eating very small meals often and my calorie burn is also broken up into morning and evening -- so it seems to be all working out ok -- also because it is short term...not sure how to transition back but I'm hoping I can lose another 6-8lbs in the next 3 weeks!
by NMA5632
2.
a decade ago
I am glad you are going to push through and do it anyway, regardless of his resentment. I do believe that men think women who stay home with their kids have it easy -- and they don't understand why everything surrounding that can't be perfect. You do need to do this training for you and you will feel so much better when you do. Hang in there Nikki and keep pushing forward!
by NMA5632
1.
a decade ago
I bet you are really disappointed. I hope things go okay today. Being a mom is tough and staying at home with the kids and handling the house is absolutely a 24/7 job. Stick to your guns.
:love: 
:kiss:
by MOM22SONZ