Remember last week when I was so proud that I biked 12 miles with my friend and she struggled and I did just fine? Well, I was totally humbled today. I am quite a wimp.
I did the same exact bike trail, with the kids in the bike trailer again, with another girl. She is going to do the swim for me in the triathlon. I don't know her that well yet, but she's a mom of a 6 month old boy, so we have lots of mom stuff to talk about. But before she had her son, she complete a half-ironman triathlon. So she is in much better shape than I am.
And she set the pace on our ride and we were going quite fast. Probably 12 miles an hour at first as opposed to 7 miles an hour last week. What a difference! This trail has a gradual incline that is so long and I was struggling. Actually several gradual inclines.
Eventually, when we were on the way back, my friend had to pass me ride ahead of me. She had to get back to her babysitters by a certain time. I slowed way down as I was quite tired by then. But really she didn't finish that much sooner than I did.
All in all, we did 10 miles in an hour.
I gotta tell you, I am so exhausted right now and I took a little nap earlier today.

Anyway, I wrote a blog entry this morning and my darling little Carter turned off the computer while I was writing. Little stinker, I could have killed him. Oh, well.

So I was writing about how my eating has been the last few days and the breakthroughs I've had. I've been exploring my limited beliefs about my weightloss. As I've said many times, I know my struggles are all rooted in my mind, but I didn't know how to change that. I think I'm finally taking steps towards doing that. And my eating the last few days reflects that, as I have been doing so much better.

The difference is hope. I finally feel hopeful again that this is possible for me. And I'm not full of fear (as much) or afraid to hope for fear that I'll just fall again. Yes, I will fall, but that does not mean I am doomed to failure. It means I am still learning, that there are areas that still need addressing and that I can self-correct.
My limiting beliefs include I can't lose weight because I've never done it before. It's too hard for me to lose weight. And couple others, but those are the major ones. So with these podcasts, she suggests you identify your beliefs (I wrote them in a journal), question them, and then replace them. So that is where I am at.
Of course I've never lost the weight before. If I had, then I wouldn't be here now trying to figure it out. I've simply been experimenting with what does not work for me. And I've learned alot about what doesn't work. I know I can't do a prescribed diet plan, that I can't count calories or weigh. I can't cut out a food completely. What works for me is planning my meals the night before or sometimes for the whole week.
And weight loss doesn't have to be hard. It's hard when I let the black and white, all or nothing thinking take over and mess with me. It's hard when I am having an inner conflict about what I want: weight loss/health vs. comfort. When I resolve that conflict by finding other ways to meet those needs, it's not hard.
Okay, I probably have lots more to say on the subject, but I need to go to bed! Good night.