I have been playing on myspace and facebook so much lately that I've been neglecting CK. (Sorry.) The thing about CK is I can write about more private issues that I wouldn't write about on such public venues. So far, I've connected with CK and former CK-ers plus a few other friends. It's been really fun but it's addicting. I have to becareful of my time and not let it suck away my precious minutes. It's so easy to do.
And it's such an escape. It's like I can go into this other world without bickering kids and messes all over my house, where I don't feel like such a failure in every area of my life. But I need to be careful to not run away with it.

I enjoyed our holiday. We went to a car show in the morning. It wasn't very hot like it usually is on the 4th. Usually we can hardly stand to stay all afternoon, but it was no problem this time. When we came home, Carter took a nap and so did I. Later in the evening we went to a friend's house where they were having people over. They were all drunk and had horrible language. These people are very nice and I like them alot, but my kids heard every variation of the F-word and I am not happy about that. I wasn't sure if I should say something or not. I know they would attempt to clean up their language if I did, but I felt awkward doing that.
I later asked Chris about this and he said, no I shouldn't have said anything. We just shouldn't have brought the kids if I felt that way about it.
Well, I don't know what I think of that.

Yesterday, we took the kids with us to a Bluegrass music festival. It's outdoor and we had a great time. The boys were quite tired after 2 days of so much stuff going on, so after church today we mostly hung out at home. Got in the pool for a little bit and watched movies.

Food was not great but it was better than usual. Definite improvements. I didn't stuff myself the way I normally would on a holiday with the feeling like I was going to be deprived at any minute. I ate fairly small portions of junk and didn't overfill myself.
I had way too many chips, but I think the improvement is that it wasn't compulsive. It wasn't the frantic eating of the past. Definitely a baby step in the right direction.

Today my husband was horribly crabby. I mean just awful--worse than he's been in a while. And my kids, reacted to the negative energy by bickering with each other constantly. I was about to pull my hair out. I was constantly getting on to Collin for not listening to me, for being defiant, for purposefully bothering his brother. And things usually aren't this bad. I felt like the more I got onto him, the worse he behaved. And it just kept contributing to Chris' bad mood. It was this awful cycle and I didn't know what to do.

So after dinner I really wanted some marshmallows. (weird, I know). I thought about how I would feel after I ate them. I knew I would feel bloated, full and lously. I knew this was purely stress eating. I decided to have a few but I had to drink it with a full glass of water.
You know what? I ate 3 marshmallows and a small handful of recese's pieces and then stopped. That is a big improvement for me.
Next time I hope to pass them up altogether but I am proud it didn't turn into a binge.

I haven't exercised since Wednesday and I really, REALLY hate that. I could have gotten up early and done the elliptical a few of these days but I stayed up late most nights. I don't have any excuse. Just didn't make the time.
But I plan to get up early tomorrow to do my early morning elliptical and then my friend and I plan to run in the evening. We are hoping our schedules (i.e. kids' bedtimes) will allow it.

Slow and steady on this journey to healthy living.