I am amazed at my workout today, or I should say workoutS. This morning I went to the Y and did 30 mins of spin class (I was late, so I didn't get to do the whole thing. ) I followed that up by immediately running 2 miles. At first I felt like I couldn't find the pace and rythm and didn't know why. Then I realized, oh yeah, it's because I just biked so my legs are like bricks.
After a few laps, I found my pace and was fine. I even felt like I could run another mile but I didn't push it.
Then tonight I met my running partner and ran 3 more miles!! Oh my gosh. I think I made up for the other day where I didn't run. I didn't know if I would make it through the whole run, but my friend pushed me on and I did it. I feel so good about that.
5 miles on the bike and 5 miles running total. I'm totally pumped about that.

My dad and nephews arrive on Friday and then we leave on Monday to go up to Chicago. I'll be gone for 2 weeks but I'll still have internet access. I am really looking forward to visiting my family. My cousin, who was recently diagnosed with Celiac also, is helping me plan several gluten free places we want to eat. I'm so looking forward to being able to order a pizza and have it delivered! You take that for granted until you can't just do that anymore. But there is a local restaurant that makes gluten free pizza and delivers. Heaven!

Speaking of food, I had 3 slip ups today. I felt myself being pulled back into my old pattern of thinking. And I thought, no, I am not going to go there. For about a week or two, I have felt so free for the first time in a long time. Free from obsession, desperation, and hopelessness. I am not going back there.
Instead of beating myself up, I need to look at what I can learn from those experiences. Write about them in my journal. I've been observing situations that are triggers for me. I need to be proactive and set up a "line of defense" for how I can deal with those triggers.
Yes, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can do this. I can overcome this and be free.

I messed up my BC pills. I haven't taken them in a week and a half. So I've been having cramps and some light spotting. I just kept forgetting to go to the store. So I thought I'd just start a new pack on Sunday. I forgot again. I finally went today to get it filled and I guess I'll just start Sunday and be very careful for the next month. But it really sucks that I did that.

That reminds me. Tomorrow is our nine year anniversary. I'm not sure what I think of that, as you all know what state my marriage is in. We have no plans at all to celebrate. I told him I am not making plans, if he wants to celebrate, he can make plans or suggestions, but I wasn't doing it all myself when I don't feel like there is much worth celebrating.
Well, things have been better since we went to dinner a couple weeks ago (I had told him that before the dinner). He has made some suggestions about going out to dinner but we don't have a babysitter. He suggested we just go out and take the kids, but then he said he really didn't want to try that. I don't know what to think. I didn't even get him a card.
Kinda passive aggressive on my part. Probably not the best way to handle it but I think I'm just tired of it all. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

I'd better get to bed as it's past 1am and I have to clean that house (for money!!) tomorrow morning.