yes, I am still here. I have dropped in here and there to read a few blogs and check in. But while I was in Chicago, I didn't feel like blogging and it's been hard to get back into since being back.
I underwent a big change while I was visiting my family. I felt like I got in touch with who I really am or something.
I"m not really sure what happened. I just started thinking about my life very deeply and decided that I'm not going to put up with my husband's poor treatment anymore! I was pissed and determined to make changes in my marriage and in my life.
We had a long talk on the phone one night and I told him we really need to go to marriage counseling. He said, no things aren't that bad. Counseling is for when someone is on the verge of leaving.
Yes, We Are That Bad!!! I am thinking about leaving, I told him. That woke him up. He freaked out and went into a fit about how lucky I am to have him!! How I'll regret leaving him because he is so good to me and all this crap.
I didn't let it get to me. I knew he was just upset and really, I'm lucky to have him????!!! PULEAZE! I won't even get started on that.
Anyway, we did not get anything resolved yet. I just got his attention. The biggest change is in me. I am being more assertive. I absolutely am not going to be treated badly anymore. Not going to put up with it.
It's easy to fall back into old habits and patterns and that's what usually happens to us. But I am not going to allow that anymore.
I'm going to keep on him about marriage counseling. I really hope he agrees so we can save this marriage. I'm going to do everything I can to make this work. But I can't do it by myself.

Okay, I have to get up super early tomorrow to do a dry run for the triathlon in a couple weeks. So I'm going to bed. I jsut wanted to finally give an update here.
Love you all and miss you.